The Innermost Thoughts of Percy Jackson
by luluhrh
Summary: Percy Jackson reveals the truth to his classmates and they read the books! There is jealousy everywhere... but Percabeth will prevail! T for swearing. Lots and lots of swearing.
1. Hello Mortals, Meet the Greek Gods!

**YAY! I LOVE THIS KIND OF STORY! HOPE YOU ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS I DID!**

**Oh, and by the way, none of it belongs to me. Except for the students. But the demigods and the gods and Paul Blofis and the stuff in bold? That's all Ricky's.**

**NO LET'S GET THIS WHOLE SHEBANG STARTED!**

_**Chapter 1: Hello Mortals, Meet the Greek Gods!**_

**Percy's POV**

It was just another English class for me. Just another day where I had to stare at my stepfather and try not to fall asleep as Paul- sorry, Mr. Blofis- droned on and on about the book we were studying. What was it called again?

My best friend at school, Mack Winters, gave me her _this-can't-be-over-soon-enough_ look. I stifled my laughter. Mack was short for Mackenzie, but no one called her that unless they wanted to get punched in the gut. She was vaguely tomboyish and hated any kind of attention from boys when they thought about her as a girl. She said most boys were pervs who didn't deserve her attentions. She reminded me a little bit of Thalia, my cousin (on the godly side of the family), except for the fact that she had had several crushes in her lifetime. She was like the sister I never had. She totally got me. And she totally got the fact that I was dying from overexposure to English literature.

The only things she didn't get were that I had a girlfriend (she didn't believe me even when I showed her photos of Annabeth and I) and that I was half Greek god (self-explanatory, isn't it? Why would I tell her something she would never believe?).

Ugh. I hate going off on tangents. Part of being ADHD.

Anyway, so yeah. Dying from too much English literature. That's a thing, right?

My friend Steven Osborn sent me a sympathetic glance before returning to his notes. He actually _liked_ English class. How that was possible, I didn't know, but I strongly suspected that it had to do with the fact that he wasn't dyslexic like me or ADHD like both Mack and myself. He was best in the class when it came to this stuff. However, he was modest and funny and fun to hang out with, so I forgave him for being so ridiculously smart.

Adrien Marr, my best bud on the basketball team, wasn't even bothering to look like he was paying attention. He was doodling on a random corner of his notebook, occasionally glancing up and heaving great sighs at the slowness of time. However, he was probably listening, even though it looked like he wasn't. He was actually pretty good in English. Go figure.

Kaitlyn Taiber, the only other girl in our group besides Mack, was taking notes in her careful, neat handwriting. She and Steven were the smarts of our group. They cared about their grades far more than the rest of us did. Kaitlyn wasn't even glancing at the us. She was the shy one, the one who was afraid to get in trouble. Cute in an innocent and naïve way, she always kept the rest of us in line. Her shyness and utter adorableness didn't make her any less scary when she lectured us. That gave us nightmares. Not as many nightmares as my death glares gave to my enemies, but still plenty. (Before you ask, the answer is no. I don't have a crush on Kaitlyn. Annabeth is my girlfriend. We'd go through hell to stay together. We _have_ gone through hell to stay together. Annabeth and I are each other's one and only.)

The last member of our group (besides me) was Chuck Deeves. Most people called him Deeves. Only Kaitlyn ever called him Chuck. He liked it, or seemed to. He never really showed his feelings. He was athletic. He was smart in an understated, quiet way. He spoke little, even though he was a pretty big person. Still, he was a good dude, a guy who was almost as loyal as I was. And trust me, that's saying something.

Ugh! Sorry. Tangents.

So yeah, we were just sitting there when the door opened and in walked my best friend, Grover Underwood (what the hell?), along with… no way…

"DAD?!" I shouted, jumping out of my seat. Almost immediately, everyone turned to me. My face burned. What was I doing?

Oh, that's right. I was making a fool of myself. As usual.

But what was _Poseidon_ doing at a mortal school? It made no sense. He was a Greek god. The kids around him were totally and completely mortal (I think). But there he was in his flower-print shirt and his blue shorts. His hair looked windswept, and when he grinned, I saw those smile lines crinkle. "Hello, Percy," was all he said.

I turned to my friends. Mack was giving me a look, like, _Isn't Mr. Blofis your dad?_

I shook my head and mouthed, "Step-dad."

Mack nodded, finally comprehending the situation.

Then someone else walked in- well, I say _walked_, but it was more of a roll. Why? Because the person entering was in a wheelchair.

"Chiron!" I cried happily.

And then more people started entering, and my mouth dropped open.

Why was _Zeus_ here? Poseidon was a stretch, but _Zeus_? And all of the other Olympians, too?

Then the Stolls came in, and I just about fainted. Campers were here, as well? And Jason and Reyna. Campers from both camps. What the hell…

I was sure my classmates were looking at me like I was crazy, but I was too ecstatic to care.

Then Annabeth came in, and I stopped breathing.

Half of Camp Half-Blood, a small fraction of Camp Jupiter, and all Twelve Olympian gods and goddesses were in my English classroom. This was not normal.

Annabeth came over to me. A lot of guys were staring at her, not bothering to disguise their longing. I was longing to take out Riptide and murder every one of them for looking at Annabeth like that. Sadly, they were all mortal, so that wouldn't work.

"Hey, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth said. There were many confused glances.

"What are you doing here, Wise Girl?" I asked. Now they were all looking at me weirdly.

Annabeth smiled, like she knew something I didn't. I hate it when she does that. Then she kissed me, and I felt a bit better, but I also felt the burning stares of all the boys in my class.

_Well, sorry dudes, but this is my Wise Girl,_ I thought with a smirk. Then I gave them all my _I-will-kill-you-if-you-don't-look-away_ stare, and they backed down. It wasn't hard. If monsters are terrified by my death stares, mortals didn't stand a chance.

Annabeth seemed to be staring down all the girls for some odd reason, but before I could ask her about it, Chiron started speaking.

"Well," he said, getting the attention from the entire class, plus the Olympians, "hello all. My name, as you have probably gathered, is Chiron. We are here to announce something that we have decided must be made known to the mortal world." Muttering at the word "mortal." "If we don't make it known, I'm afraid Zeus over here might just explode." Gasps at "Zeus."

Chiron gave us all his trademark sad smile. "Some of you probably already see where this is going. Well, you are correct."

There was silence. There were some confused expressions, even a few excited expressions, but most of the mortal kids looked incredulous, as though the whole thing was a joke. All of the demigods, including me, were holding back laughter. Chiron and even Paul seemed amused. The gods looked disappointed at not getting a better reaction.

The silence stretched on. It was beginning to get uncomfortable.

Finally, Zeus shouted, "ENOUGH OF THIS!"

Everyone jumped.

Giving every student the evil eye, Zeus proclaimed, "The Olympian gods of Ancient Greece exist, and I am Zeus, King of the Olympians."

This was greeted with disbelief in the form of many more incredulous stares. Then someone stood up. I saw who it was and cursed under my breath. _Why, Steven? Why do you always have to stand up and question EVERYTHING!?_

"Excuse me," my soon-to-be obliterated friend said, "but aren't the Olympian gods just myths?"

Damn.

Zeus' eyes crackled with electricity. Thunder rumbled as clouds gathered outside the window.

Steven gulped. He seemed to have realized the magnitude of what he'd said.

"MYTHS?" Zeus roared in anger. "IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL A _MYTH_, MORTAL?"

Steven took a step back and frantically shook his head. "Forgive me, Lord Zeus!" he cried.

Zeus seemed to calm down slightly. The clouds outside the window dissipated. His eyes stopped crackling, though he still looked murderous. However, "I am not a myth" was all he said.

Another woman stepped forward. She was lovely, with long brown hair braided over her shoulder and a blindingly white smile. She wore a white top and a long, flowing peacock-colored skirt with brown leather sandals. Her eyes were warm and welcoming, yet stern and calculating. The perfect mother.

I hated her.

"Hera," I grumbled under my breath. Annabeth nodded, grey eyes narrowed to slits. Ever since she stole eight months of my life, we've been at odds with the Queen of the Gods.

Heh. That rhymed. But back to the story.

Hera smiled softly at the mortals. "Forgive my husband for his theatrics. I am Hera, Queen of Olympus, Goddess of marriage and family."

Hera stepped back and nodded at Demeter. Demeter stepped forward.

Demeter's hair, golden and curly, hung about her shoulders. Stalks of dried wheat were braided into the curls. She wore a green shirt, the color of grass, and brown pants the color of soil. She wore the same kind of sandals as Hera.

"Hello, I am Demeter, Goddess of the harvest, and I think all of you could use some cereal," she said before stepping back into line. All of the gods and demigods groaned while the mortals looked at one another in confusion.

Apollo and Artemis stepped forward together. Artemis wore a silver tank-top that shone like moonlight with a pair of black pants and sandals. Apollo wore a bright, sun-colored tank-top with beige cargo shorts and blindingly white sneakers. Both had their bows in hand and quivers on their backs. However, whereas Apollo's smiles were making all of the mortal girls melt into their seats (except for Mack and Kaitlyn- well done, my friends!), Artemis's scowls and glares were scaring the boys to death.

Apollo introduced himself first. "Hello hello, ladies and runts." He grinned. All of the boys glared at him. "I am Apollo, God of music, light, poetry. Oh, and also the Sun when Helios goes on vacation." He grinned at the mortal girls, who swooned.

Artemis glared at Apollo, then said, "I am Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, newborn creatures, and maidens." She sent one last glare in the direction of the boys, then stepped back with her brother.

Hades came forward, sending an aura of fear through all of those assembled. He wore a black suit with a gray tie and strange bluish-gray colored shirt. His shoes were black and shone like ebony. The faces of the damned swirled about in his suit.

"I'm Hades, God of the Underworld and riches," Hades said before stepping back.

Aphrodite stepped forward and immediately all of the mortal boys started drooling. I didn't, because she looked just like Annabeth, who stood right next to me, and I don't drool over her all the time. Her figure was tucked into a revealing snowy white top and a mini-skirt. Grey sandals were on her feet, revealing perfectly painted toenails.

With a wink and a blinding smile, Aphrodite said, "Hey, cuties! I'm Aphrodite, Goddess of love and beauty!" Then she stepped back, much to the disappointment of the boys.

Athena stepped forward. Despite wearing nothing more intimidating than a grey T-shirt and jeans, she radiated power. She wore grey sneakers. Her long dark hair was done in a ponytail and her grey eyes scanned the room.

"Athena," she said shortly. "Goddess of wisdom, battle strategy, and useful crafts." Then she stepped back.

Hermes walked forward in his jogging clothes. He was talking on his phone.

"Hang on, let me put you on hold," he said. He clicked something, then looked up and smiled. "Sorry about that. I'm Hermes, God of travelers, thieves, merchants, etc., I should hope that you all know this. So yeah." He got back on his call and stepped back, but not before I spotted George and Martha, his snakes, curled on the antennae.

Dionysus stepped forward. He wore a leopard print shirt, shorts patterned with grape vines, and sandals. His curly hair stuck up everywhere and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Hello, brats," he said, sighing. "I'm Dionysus, god of wine. Don't call me the wine dude, or I will drive you insane in the space of a second." He then stepped back, leaving many confused mortals and amused immortals and demigods.

Ares and Hephaestus walked forward together. Ares wore a blood red T-shirt with a leather jacket and pants. He wore a bulletproof vest, had two pistols and a rifle, and sported a long hunting knife. Hephaestus, with his lopsided appearance, wore a brown shirt and overalls covered with pockets.

Ares smiled cruelly. "Hey punks, I'm Ares, God of war." He plucked out his hunting knife and began picking the dirt out from under his fingernails.

Hephaestus sent his brother a distasteful glance, then muttered, "The name's Hephaestus, God of fire and metalworking." Then the two stepped back as one.

Finally, my father stepped forward. His grin lit up the room. In his shirt and shorts, he looked like just another fisherman.

"My name's Poseidon," he said. "God of the sea."

Chiron nodded. "I do believe that's everyone. Well, it is too bad Hestia isn't here. She's the Goddess of the hearth," he said to the mortals. "She said she couldn't make it. Now, however, we must meet our demigods." Chiron turned to the group of demigods. "Please tell the mortals your name and who your godly parent is." The campers nodded.

"We're Connor-" "-and Travis-" "Stoll, and we're sons of Hermes."

"Katie Gardner, daughter of Demeter."

"Thalia Grace, daughter of Zeus, Lieutenant of the Hunt, don't even bother flirting with me, boys, or I'll kick you where the sun don't shine."

"Clarisse La Rue, daughter of Ares."

"Chris Rodriguez, son of Hermes."

"Malcolm, just Malcolm, son of Athena."

"Nico diAngelo, son of Hades."

"Castor, son of Dionysus."

"Jake Mason, son of Hephaestus."

"Lacy, daughter of Aphrodite."

"Mitchell, son of Aphrodite."

"Nyssa, daughter of Hephaestus."

"Leo Valdez, son of Hephaestus, HOT STU- ow, Beauty Queen, that hurt!"

Snort. "Piper McLean, daughter of Aphrodite."

"Jason Grace, brother of Thalia, son of Jupiter, Zeus' Roman form."

"Reyna Avila Ramírez Arellano, yes, my initials are RARA but if you comment on it I'll have to kill you, daughter of Bellona, minor Roman goddess of war."

"Frank Zhang, son of Mars, Ares' Roman form."

"Hazel Levesque, daughter of Pluto, Hades' Roman form."

Annabeth stepped forward. "Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena."

Then she turned to me. All of the demigods and gods turned to me, which made all of the mortals turn to me in confusion.

"What does Percy have to do with this?" I heard one kid mutter to his friend.

Chiron nodded. "Percy, please tell them your full title."

I groaned inwardly. I hated my full title, but it was a direct request from my mentor.

Stepping forward, I said, "You all met me at the beginning of the year. To you, I am Percy Jackson, the son of the English teacher. However, Paul- sorry, Mr. Blofis- is my stepfather. This is my biological family." I took a deep breath before continuing. "To them, I am Perseus Jackson, son of Poseidon, Hero and Savior of Olympus, Retriever of the Athena Parthenos, and-" I winced. I hated this part of my title. "Survivor of Tartarus."

There was quiet in the room. Mack, Steven, Adrien, Kaitlyn, and Chuck were all staring at me like they'd never seen me before. Everyone else looked just as awestruck.

"So… yeah," I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

Mack looked stunned. Then, slowly, a grin spread over her face. "Well, what about that, our best friend Percy is a hero!" She was laughing now. "A hero! Pfh! Ha, this is too much!"

I scowled at her. "Mackenzie…"

She immediately stopped laughing and shot me a glare. "Don't call me that."

I snickered. "Then quit laughing."

Mack glared at me.

Chiron cleared his throat. "All right then, we are going to be reading a book series on what has been happening the past few years. I believe I sent it to you, Paul."

Paul nodded. "I have it here," he said, pulling out a package of books. I couldn't see the titles, but Paul did. He froze, then began laughing.

All of the students looked at him in disbelief. He never laughed like this in front of them.

Steven cleared his throat. "Um… Mr. Blofis? What's so funny?"

Paul wiped his eyes. "Oh, nothing. Just the titles." He grinned mischievously. "Percy, listen." He held up the first book, cleared his throat, and read, "Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief."

Crap. I could feel the color draining from my face. I could hear the class muttering once more. The Stolls, Clarisse, Thalia, and Leo were all smirking at me.

"No," I heard myself say. "Absolutely not."

Chiron smiled. "Paul, would you like to begin?"

I frowned. "You're joking, right?"

Chiron shook his head, then said to the class, "We will be reading Percy's thoughts from when he was twelve to when he was sixteen." Excited murmuring. "If all goes well, we will continue on to a seventeen-year-old Percy's thoughts, mixed with the thoughts of Annabeth, Jason, Piper, Leo, Frank, and Hazel." Leo stopped smirking and his eyes widened as more excited murmuring filled the room.

"No," Leo, said, eyes on Chiron. "Please, please no-"

"We'll see, Leo," Chiron said, effectively cutting off the demigod.

"Now," he continued, "Paul, please proceed."

Paul nodded, opened the plastic wrap surrounding the books, and turned to the first chapter of the first book. He grinned and glanced at me, then returned his gaze to the book.

"**I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher**"


	2. IAccidentallyVaporizeMyPreAlgebraTeacher

**AND MORE! I already have a few chapters typed, so you'll get a lot of this very, very, VERY fast.**

**It's still not mine, unfortunately.**

**Now... just read.**

_**Chapter 2: Chapter 1: I Accidentally Vaporize my Pre-Algebra Teacher**_

**Mack's POV**

As soon as I heard the chapter name, I burst out laughing.

Amid my peals of laughter, I heard that weird skinny kid- Leo, maybe?- ask, "Are all of the chapter names gonna be that ridiculous?"

Mr. Blofis checked the table of contents, then nodded.

Leo turned to Percy with respect in his eyes. "Well, done, Perce."

Percy grinned at him, making my insides melt (yes, of course I have a crush on Percy, who doesn't? [Besides Kaitlyn, of course- that girl is strange…] That stupid blondie better make way for Mack!). "You bet, Flaming Valdez."

Leo grinned. ("Flaming Valdez? What kind of a nickname is that?)

Mr. Blofis cleared his throat before continuing.

"**Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood.**"

The girl with the spiky hair and punk clothes snorted. "No one does, Perce."

I pondered this. Being a half-blood seemed like a pretty good deal. Why wouldn't they want to be children of gods and have cool powers?

"**If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is:**"

"Duck and cover!" the emo kid, Nico, cried. Almost immediately, all of the demigods hit the deck. Bewildered, I glanced at the gods (GODS! I can still hardly believe it… although Percy is pretty incredible, so it makes sense). They were all snickering and giggling.

"Um, why are you all on the floor?" I asked the demigods.

"Percy's giving advice!" a girl with choppy brown hair braided with a feather cried. She was really beautiful, even though she seemed to be trying to play it down. "Percy gives TERRIBLE advice!"

Mr. Blofis rolled his eyes before continuing.

"**Close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to live a normal life.**"

The demigods looked up in shock.

A blonde boy with startling blue eyes (just like that punk girl's; I think they're siblings, but they look almost nothing alike) looked incredulous. "He gave good advice," he mumbled in shock.

Percy rolled his eyes. "I can give good advice sometimes, Jason."

The punk girl (blonde-hair blue-eyed boy's sister) laughed. "Yeah, well, too bad this never works." She quieted her voice to a whisper. "After you realize, you can't go back."

All of the demigods nodded in agreement.

"**Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.**"

Ah. So that's why they wish they weren't demigods (or half-bloods, whatever, I don't care).

"**If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened. But if you recognize yourself in these pages- if you feel something stirring inside- stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before **_**they**_ **sense it too, and they'll come for you. Don't say I didn't warn you.**"

"You didn't warn _me_," Nico said, whining slightly. Percy sent him a glare. He whitened (I didn't know that was possible, he was paler than a vampire to begin with) and looked away.

"**My name is Percy Jackson.**"

"No way, Sherlock!" the punk girl exclaimed.

Percy sent a glare her way. "Watch it Grace." So Grace is her name… huh. It doesn't suit her. Or is it her last name? I think it is. I think her name starts with a "T".

"**I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York. Am I a troubled kid?**"

"YES!" the whole class yelled. So did all of the demigods and even a few gods. Percy grinned. We knew him so well.

"**Yeah. You could say that.**"

That Leo kid took out a notebook and pen from an odd toolbelt around his waist and spoke what he was writing aloud: "Percy… admits… to… being… a… troubled… kid… on…" He paused to check the date, then wrote it down. Percy shook his head in amusement.

"I never denied being a troubled kid," he said to the room.

Everyone smirked at him.

"**I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan- twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at Ancient Greek and Roman stuff.**"

The grey-eyed woman with the dark hair nodded in approval. The blondie, Annabel or something (curse you for stealing Percy away, dumb blondie!), just smiled.

"**I know- it sounds like torture.**"

Now the grey-eyed lady (she had to be Athena) was glaring at Percy like she wanted nothing more than to tear him to shreds. The blondie was hiding her laughter.

"**Most Yancy field trips were. But Mr Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.**"

Percy grinned. "And here's where Chiron makes his debut."

The man in the wheelchair dipped his head. He must have been Chiron.

"**Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told us stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.**"

"And here comes the explosion," I heard Percy mutter.

"You SLEEP in CLASS!?" Athena yelled. She looked murderous.

Percy coughed. "Moving on."

"**I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble.**"

A girl with dark skin, golden eyes and curly hair the color of cinnamon shook her head and smiled softly. "That'll happen, Perce." She seemed pretty young, like around thirteen or something, unlike the others, who were around sixteen and seventeen.

"**Boy, was I wrong.**"

The girl grinned wider. Her eyes glittered. "Told ya."

"Yeah, yeah, Hazel, we get it," Percy grumbled.

Hazel.

"So you were right once, Levesque! Whatever!" Leo yelled.

Hazel Levesque stuck her tongue out at him.

"**See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway.**"

Three boys were rolling around on the floor, laughing uncontrollably. Two looked awfully similar, but the third was Hispanic. However, the three had identical expressions of absolute delight at finding out something so ridiculous.

"Oh, shut up," Percy muttered.

"**And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim.**"

If the sons of Hermes were laughing before, it was nothing compared to now. They were joined by a hysterical Leo. In fact, everyone was laughing, even the gods. However, only the sons of Hermes and Leo were on the floor.

"**And the time before that… Well, you get the idea.**"

"NO!" everyone cried.

Percy shrugged. His eyes sparkled like the sea on a sunny day. I wanted to drown myself in them.

"That's all, folks," he said, miming tipping his hat.

More laughter.

Finally, it was quiet enough for an exasperated Mr. Blofis to continue reading.

"**This trip, I was determined to be good.**"

"Sure you were, Perce," a bulky Chinese dude said, shaking his head.

Percy grinned. "I always am, Frank. Trouble just seems to find me."

"**All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.**"

"How dare she!" growled the punk girl. "You better tear her to shreds, Percy!"

A boy with curly hair and a rasta-style cap shook his head. "It's okay," he said.

_So he's Grover,_ I thought to myself.

"**Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny.**"

Grover rolled his eyes. "Loving the description, dude."

"Sorry G-man, but I didn't know why!" Percy exclaimed, defending himself.

Grover just sniffled derisively.

The punk girl grinned. "Yeah, goat boy, you should forgive your best friend for being an ignorant male."

Percy's eyes widened. "I am hurt, Thalia!" he exclaimed (Thalia! That was it!), putting a hand to his chest.

Thalia rolled her eyes and snorted.

"**He cried when he got frustrated.**"

"I do not!" Grover dried indignantly.

"Not anymore, but you used to, back in sixth grade," Percy replied.

"**He must've been held back several grades,**"

"I was right about that," Percy said with a smile, "only for the wrong reasons."

"**because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled.**"

"I feel so loved," Grover said huffily.

Blondie grinned. "You are loved, Grover. We're just bad at showing our affection."

Grover snorted. "Sure, Annabeth." Oh! So Annabeth was her name. Weird. "You and Percy have _so_ much trouble showing your affection."

Annabeth smiled and looked at Percy with loving eyes. He returned her gaze.

Barf! Too much lovey-dovey stuff! I didn't think _Percy_ would be all sweet with girls. It must be torture for him!

"**He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.**"

"And there goes your cover, Grover," said a girl with straight blonde hair in pigtails, large blue eyes, and braces. Surprisingly, she was really pretty.

Grover turned red and muttered, "Shut up, Lacy."

"**Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death**…"

Gasps were heard around the room.

"…**by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.**"

"That's not death!" Adrien cried.

"Don't worry us like that, Percy!" Kaitlyn said pleadingly.

Percy laughed. "I was twelve. Back then, in-school suspension was synonymous with death."

One of the nearly identical children of Hermes gasped theatrically. "Percy used a big word! We need to throw a party!"

Percy glared at him. He shut up.

"**"I'm going to kill her," I mumbled. Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter."**"

"Nice try, dude," a good-looking boy with brown hair and hazel eyes said.

The Cherokee girl with the feather in her hair frowned. "At least he tried, Mitchell."

Mitchell grinned. "Whatever you say, Piper."

"**He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch. "That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.**"

"Don't hold him back, Grover!" a buff girl with stringy brown hair cried.

All of the demigods and gods, plus Chiron and Grover, stared at her incredulously.

"Clarisse, you care," Grover said in a touched voice.

Clarisse turned red. "I do not! But there's no fighting, I'm bored!"

Percy grinned. "Sure, Clarisse. Sure."

"**"You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens." Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there.**"

"We wish you had, too," Thalia said darkly.

"**In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.**"

There was silence.

"I hate foreshadowing," Nico mumbled.

"**Mr. Brunner led the museum tour. He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery. It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.**"

"Longer," the gods said, speaking in unison. They all smiled at each other, even Hades. It occurred to me that they probably didn't agree on much, so this was unusual.

"**He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting,**"

"Percy… you were listening in school?" Annabeth asked in a mockingly awed voice.

"Shut up, Wise Girl," Percy replied.

"I'm so proud of you, Seaweed Brain!"

"Knock it off," Percy muttered, but he was grinning. If someone else was teasing him like this, even if it was me, he'd be mad. What made her so special?

Leo grinned. "I'm sure it was only a one-time thing, Annabeth."

"**but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye.**"

Grover, Annabeth, and Percy all shivered.

"I hated her," Percy muttered.

"Alecto?" Nico asked sympathetically.

Grover, Annabeth, and Percy all nodded.

"**Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.**"

"Nervous breakdown," Percy said with a snarl. "If he left because of a nervous breakdown, then I'm immortal."

Grover nodded in agreement.

"**From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.**"

"Monster," a girl with soil brown hair and green eyes said.

All of the other demigods hastened to agree.

"**One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right."**"

"Oh, way to blow your cover, Grover," Annabeth said.

"**Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art. Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?" It came out louder than I meant it to.**"

"Of course it did," hot blue-eyed guy, Jason (who is nowhere near as hot as Percy), said with a laugh.

Percy laughed, too. "It always does, Grace."

I knew he was Thalia's brother!

"**The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story. "Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?" My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir." Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?" I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"**"

Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Hera, and Demeter all groaned.

"Of course," Poseidon muttered. He looked just like Percy, only older and with more smile lines around his eyes.

"**"Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because ..." "Well..." I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and-"**"

"GOD!?" Zeus roared. The air crackled with electricity and the smell of ozone overcame all others

"**"God?" Mr. Brunner asked. "Titan," I corrected myself.**"

Zeus sniffed. The air stopped crackling. The smell of ozone faded away. "He was not a god," he muttered.

"**"And ... he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters-" "Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me. "-and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won."**"

Annabeth laughed. "Nice summary, Seaweed Brain."

Athena was stunned. "You just summarized the deadliest war in history in a sentence. A _sentence_."

Percy shrugged. "Hey, I'm special."

"**Some snickers from the group. Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'" "And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"**"

"Busted!" Grover exclaimed happily.

"**"Busted," Grover muttered.**"

Everyone laughed at how little Grover had changed.

"**"Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair. At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears.**"

The Hermes kids nodded earnestly in agreement.

"**I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir." "I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?"**"

"Way to change the subject, Chiron," Hermes muttered.

Chiron smiled.

"**The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses. Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson." I knew that was coming. I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?" Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go- intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything. "You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me. "About the Titans?" "About real life. And how your studies apply to it." "Oh." "What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson." I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.**"

"It was for a good reason, Percy," Chiron said.

"Yeah, I know," Percy said with a grin. He obviously loved his teacher a lot.

"**I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!'" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped.**"

Annabeth looked impressed. "Nice, Chiron. That would have been fun."

What the hell is wrong with this girl?

"**But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C- in my life. No-he didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be **_**better**_**. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.**"

"No one can, Perce," Thalia said. "Well, besides Annabeth."

Annabeth smiled with pride.

What a bitch.

"**I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral.**"

"I was at her funeral," Chiron said. "I'm surprised you caught on to that."

Percy shrugged. "What can I say? I notice things."

Annabeth smirked. "Yeah, like you noticed that I've had a crush on you since we were twelve, Seaweed Brain."

"Yeah, but besides that."

All of the demigods laughed. I looked at Annabeth with jealousy in my eyes and was surprised to see her staring back. Her eyes were cold and calculating. She obviously could see that I liked Percy. However, instead of commenting, she just turned and starting staring down all of the other girls who were staring at her jealously (pretty much every girl except for Kaitlyn- again, what is wrong with her?).

"**He told me to go outside and eat my lunch. The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue. Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.**"

Demeter sighed. "Why are you always fighting? You could have just had a bowl of cereal. No wonder you were so cranky."

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Cereal isn't the answer to everything."

Aphrodite nodded. "For once, I agree with Artemis. Cereal is not the answer to all problems. Love is!"

Artemis groaned. "No, it's not that, either."

"SILENCE!" Zeus thundered.

Everyone shut up.

_That would be a useful skill to have,_ I thought to myself. _The thundering voice thing._

"**Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing. Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school-the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere. "Detention?" Grover asked. "Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean-I'm not a genius." Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?"**"

Everyone laughed.

"Typical Grover," Thalia said teasingly.

Grover blushed.

"**I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.**"

"That wasn't Percy!" Annabeth declared.

I wanted to roll my eyes. Of course it was Percy.

"What do you mean?" someone asked.

"Percy's ALWAYS hungry!"

Everyone started laughing because that was true. I didn't laugh. A few other girls abstained from the hilarity, too. Stupid blondie, cracking dumb jokes that insult Percy and having him laugh about it!

"**I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home.**"

"Mama's boy," someone muttered.

Without turning around, I said, "If Sally was _your_ mother, you'd be a mama's boy, too."

Percy smiled gratefully at me. I smiled back.

Annabeth smiled at me, too. "You're right," she said, "Sally's the greatest."

Crap. She'd met Sally, too? There goes something I thought I could hold over her.

"Yeah," Percy agreed. "Then again, Mom loves you, Wise Girl."

And Sally thinks she's great, too. Perfect.

"**She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me **

**right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years**-"

"SIXTH SCHOOL IN SIX YEARS!" Leo shouted. "YES! I finally found someone with a record worse than mine!"

Percy laughed. "Trust me, it gets worse. You'll seem like a model child next to me, Valdez."

"-**and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me. Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized cafe table. I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends- I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists- and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.**"

"Bitch," Thalia muttered.

""**Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if someone had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos.**"

Leo laughed. "That's high fashion nowadays."

"**I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper."**"

"Please," Thalia said, grinning. "If that works for you, I'm dating Nico."

"Hey!" Nico protested. "What's so bad about that?"

"One: I am a Hunter. I don't date. Two: you are like a brother to me. In other words, you're too annoying for me to want to date you."

Nico huffed.

"**But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.**"

"Yay!" the children of the gods cried. "Ass-kicking Percy!"

"**I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!" Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us. Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see-" "-the water-" "-like it grabbed her-"**"

"And THAT, my friends, is why you never make Percy angry," Thalia said. "He'll douse you."

Percy laughed. "Yep. Hey, Thals, remember our game of capture-the-flag against the Hunters? You shocked me bad, I doused you, you shocked me into the creek, and then-"

"I remember," Thalia interrupted, shivering at the memory. "You just stood up and willed the whole creek to rise with you. It was terrifying. If the Oracle hadn't come, I probably would have died."

"Rachel?" Jason asked in confusion.

"No," Annabeth said softly. "Before Rachel."

"**I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again. As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a tri-umphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey-" "I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."**"

"NEVER GUESS YOUR PUNISHMENT!" the sons of Hermes and Leo cried. Hermes nodded emphatically, agreeing with his sons and Leo.

"**That wasn't the right thing to say.**"

"No," Leo said, sarcasm dripping from the words he spoke. "It was exactly the thing to say."

"**"Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said. "Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her." I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death. She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled. "I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said. "But-" "You-**_**will**_**-stay-here." Grover looked at me desperately. "It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying." "Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "Now." Nancy Bobofit smirked. I gave her my deluxe **_**I'll-kill-you-later**_ **stare.**"

All of the demigods shivered.

"That's the worst," the twin-like sons of Hermes said softly.

"Oh, come on, it can't be _that_ bad," a egotistical jerk of a jock named Daniel said arrogantly from behind me.

Percy looked past me at him. The look on his face was feral. He looked like a wolf. Immediately, I knew that he would kill Daniel. That's what his eyes said.

I shivered. I knew that Daniel was probably shivering even worse. He got the full blast.

Thalia smiled sinisterly. "Never doubt the son of Poseidon."

"**Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on. How'd she get there so fast? I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things. I wasn't so sure.**"

"You have good extincts, son," Poseidon said.

"If only you'd listen to them," Annabeth muttered. How does she get away with insulting him so much? Usually Percy doesn't take that kind of shit from anybody!

"You know you love me," Percy said with a grin.

Annabeth turned to him, gazing into his sea green eyes. (Why is she so damn LUCKY?)

"I know I do," she whispered. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

When the kiss exceeded ten seconds, I cleared my throat.

They broke apart, grinning lovingly at each other.

That's it. I officially despised Annabitch.

"**I went after Mrs. Dodds. Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel.**"

"Chiron!" everyone said.

Chiron shrugged, but he was blushing.

"**I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall. Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop. But apparently that wasn't the plan.**"

"Of COURSE it wasn't the plan, Kelp Head!" Thalia yelled. "Hello? Anyone home? MONSTERS DON'T PUNISH YOU BY MAKING YOU BUY T-SHIRTS!"

"Shove off, Pinecone Face."

"**I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section. Except for us, the gallery was empty.**"

"It's always like that," soil-haired girl said with a sigh.

One of the Hermes twin-things (the taller one) put his arm around her. "Well, Katie, if it weren't we'd know the world was ending."

Katie rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Travis."

So he was Travis. The other was… um…

"Hey, Connor, back me up on this!"

Connor! That was it.

Connor laughed and said, "The world ended the moment you put your arm around Katie and she didn't pull away."

Katie blushed and pulled away.

"**Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling. Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it…**"

Everyone shivered. This teacher was obviously not human and was also extremely terrifying.

"**"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said. I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am." She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?" The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil. She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.**"

"Wrong, Kelp Head!" Thalia cried.

"Shut up, Pinecone Face."

"She's right, you know."

"I know, Death Breath. Now can we please continue the story? I like this next part."

"**I said, "I'll-I'll try harder, ma'am." Thunder shook the building. "We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain." I didn't know what she was talking about. All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room.**"

Everyone laughed. Typical Percy.

"**Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.**"

"Eventually, Annabeth forced me to read it," Percy told the class.

Of course Annabitch did.

"**"Well?" she demanded. "Ma'am, I don't..." "Your time is up," she hissed. Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.**"

"A _Fury_?" Jason asked, shocked. "_That_ was your first monster?"

"Yep," Percy replied.

"How are you not dead, man?"

Percy smiled. "You'll see."

"**Then things got even stranger. Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand. "What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.**"

"What's a pen gonna do?" I asked.

Percy smiled and pulled a pen out of his pocket. I had seen him with it before. He always pulled it out when he was anxious.

"You'll see," he replied with that maddeningly attractive twinkle in his eyes.

Annabitch glared at me. Was I making her jealous? Excellent!

"**Mrs. Dodds lunged at me. With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword-Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.**"

"And _that_ is how a pen can be useful in this situation," Percy said, uncapping the pen. It elongated until he was holding a bronze sword. It glowed- quite possibly with awesomeness, but also with power.

"This is Riptide," he said before touching the tip. It turned back into a pen and he stuffed it into his pocket.

"**Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes. My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword. She snarled, "Die, honey!"**"

"Quit it with the "honey", Fury!" Deeves (Chuck) said. It surprised me- usually Deeves was a pretty quiet person. Huh.

"**And she flew straight at me. Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.**"

"Of course it came naturally," Daniel muttered jealously. What an arrogant, green with envy asshole.

"Well, you can't have killed her just like that," Jason said.

"**The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss! Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.**"

"No way," Jason muttered.

All of the girls (besides Kaitlyn) stared at Percy with adoring eyes.

"He's so strong!" I heard a cheerleader whisper.

"So cool!" another girl squealed.

Annabitch glared at them and drew closer to Percy, like she was claiming her territory.

_Soon to be _my _territory,_ I thought to myself with a smirk. Annabitch would not get Percy in the end. Of that I was sure.

"**I was alone. There was a ballpoint pen in my hand. Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me. My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something.**"

Annabitch rolled her eyes and face-palmed, muttering, "Magic mushrooms. Honestly Seaweed Brain…"

Percy sent her that endearing smile/smirk that made all of the girls in the room start drooling. I didn't, but I had to use all of my self-control to not jump him then and there.

"**Had I imagined the whole thing?**"

"NO!" everyone cried.

"**I went back outside. It had started to rain. Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."**"

"Who?" Nico asked.

"**I said, "Who?"**"

Nico scowled.

"**"Our teacher. Duh!" I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about. She just rolled her eyes and turned away. I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was. He said, "Who?" But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.**"

Leo shook his head. "You need lying lessons. Rule number one: _never_ hesitate. Rule number two: if you look someone in the eye when you're honest, look 'em in the eye."

Grover blushed.

"**"Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious." Thunder boomed overhead. I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved. I went over to him. He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson." I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it. "Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?" He stared at me blankly. "Who?"**"

"Now, Chiron, you know how to lie," Travis said, nodding his approval.

Katie smacked the back of his head.

"**"The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher." He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling alright?"**"

"That's the end of the chapter," Mr. Blofis announced. "My throat's feeling a bit dry. Would anyone else like to read?"

Percy raised his hand. "May I read, Paul?"

"No," Connor said, "you'll skip all of the embarrassing parts."

"I could read," Thalia offered, her innocent voice contradicting the evil grin on her face.

"Please no," Percy begged.

"I'll read," I said with a tone of finality. No one argued. Mr. Blofis passed me the book.

I took one look at the chapter name and burst out laughing.

When I finally finished laughing, I read out, "**Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death**."

**Hehehe... I'M SO COOL yeah anyway RFF please!**

**I forgot to do this last time, so**

**Love ya! lulu**


	3. ThreeOldLadiesKnitTheSocksOfDeath

**And here is more! I really love this stuff. Such fun! *evil laugh* Okay back to the story...**

**Yeah, it's Ricky's stuff. Except for the mortal students in the class. And technically the gods don't belong to him either... but his idea of their appearances does. Yeah. Okay, I'm done. Read the story, my friends.**

_**Chapter 3: Chapter 2: Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death**_

**Annabeth's POV**

I didn't like Mackenzie.

Why? Well, that should be obvious. She, like every other girl in the class, had a crush on Percy.

It's times like this when I realize how lucky I am that my Seaweed Brain is so oblivious. How he missed that one of his best friends had a HUGE crush on him, I didn't know, but I was grateful he didn't know. If he knew, he'd feel guilty about not realizing it and liking me better. Then he'd feel awkward around me.

Yeah. His obliviousness was annoying when he didn't realize that _I_ liked him, but now, it's a blessing.

Mackenzie (I think she likes to be called Mack) started reading.

"**I was used to the occasional weird experience, but usually they were over quickly. This twenty-four/seven hallucination was more than I could handle. For the rest of the school year, the entire campus seemed to be playing some kind of trick on me. The students acted as if they were completely and totally convinced that Mrs. Kerr- a perky blond woman whom I'd never seen in my life until she got on our bus at the end of the field trip- had been our pre-algebra teacher since Christmas. Every so often I would spring a Mrs. Dodds reference on somebody, just to see if I could trip them up, but they would stare at me like I was psycho.**"

"That's because you ARE psycho, Kelp Head!" Thalia cried.

Percy glared at her, then grinned. "Well, if I'm psycho, then you should be locked in a mental hospital, because you're far crazier than me, Pinecone Face! I mean, you spent a bunch of years as a tree, and now you're a punk wearing a silver tiara and skipping around killing things!"

Thalia glared. I cracked up. When Seaweed Brain said it that way, it did seem pretty dumb.

"**It got so I almost believed them-Mrs. Dodds had never existed. Almost.**"

"Bet it was Grover's fault," I whispered. Percy smiled.

"**But Grover couldn't fool me.**"

"Told ya."

"I know what happened, Wise Girl. I was there."

"**When I mentioned the name Dodds to him, he would hesitate, then claim **

**she didn't exist. But I knew he was lying. Something was going on. Something had happened at the museum. I didn't have much time to think about it during the days, but at night, visions of Mrs. Dodds with talons and leathery wings would wake me up in a cold sweat.**"

All of the demigods shivered, including me. That would terrify anyone.

"**The freak weather continued, which didn't help my mood. One night, a thunderstorm blew out the windows in my dorm room. A few days later, the biggest tornado ever spotted in the Hudson Valley touched down only fifty miles from Yancy Academy. One of the current events we studied in social studies class was the unusual number of small planes that had gone down in sudden squalls in the Atlantic that year. I started feeling cranky and irritable most of the time. My grades slipped from Ds to Fs. I got into more fights with Nancy Bobofit and her friends. I was sent out into the hallway in almost every class. Finally, when our English teacher, Mr. Nicoll, asked me for the millionth time why I was too lazy to study for spelling tests, I snapped. I called him an old sot.**"

I burst into giggles. Mack glared at me, then continued, reading over my laughter.

"**I wasn't even sure what it meant, but it sounded good.**"

"It means old drunkard," Malcolm said, smiling at me. _Thank the gods there's another Athena kid here._

"**The headmaster sent my mom a letter the following week, making it official: I would not be invited back next year to Yancy Academy. Fine, I told myself. Just fine. I was homesick.**"

"Who wouldn't be?" I pointed out. "Sally's great."

"**I wanted to be with my mom in our little apartment on the Upper East Side, even if I had to go to public school and put up with my obnoxious stepfather and his stupid poker parties. And yet... there were things I'd miss at Yancy. The view of the woods out my dorm window, the Hudson River in the distance, the smell of pine trees. I'd miss Grover, who'd been a good friend, even if he was a little strange. I worried how he'd survive next year without me.**"

"I'm touched that you thought so highly of my ability to take care of myself," Grover said dryly.

Thalia slapped him on the arm. "Nice use of sarcasm, goat boy!"

"I was worried about you, G-man!" Percy protested. "You're my best friend!"

Grover huffed, but the look in his eyes was soft.

"**I'd miss Latin class, too-Mr. Brunner's crazy tournament days and his faith that I could do well. As exam week got closer, Latin was the only test I studied for. I hadn't forgotten what Mr. Brunner had told me about this subject being life-and-death for me. I wasn't sure why, but I'd started to believe him. The evening before my final, I got so frustrated I threw the Cambridge Guide to Greek Mythology across my dorm room.**"

I slapped Percy. Many girls threw me scandalized looks, but it hadn't hurt him, and I just had to.

"Ow," he said, more out of habit than anything else.

My voice was low and cold. "You threw a book."

He had the nerve to laugh.

"**Word had started swimming off the page, circling my head, the letter doing one-eighties as if they were riding skateboards. There was no way I was going to remember the difference between Chiron and Charon, or Polydictes and Polydeuces. And conjugating those Latin verbs? Forget it.**"

I calmed a bit. "I guess that's a reasonable reason," I said indifferently, but no one was fooled. I wasn't really angry at Percy. I could never be really angry at him.

Mack glared at me jealously. I glared back. She narrowed her eyes before continuing.

"**I paced the room, feeling like ants were crawling around inside my shirt. I remembered Mr. Brunner's serious expression, his thousand-year-old eyes. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson. I took a deep breath. I picked up the mythology book.**"

"At least you picked it up again," Malcolm said. Percy smiled in his direction. I heard several girls sigh and scowled at every girl in the room.

"**I'd never asked a teacher for help before. Maybe if I talked to Mr. Brunner, he could give me some pointers. At least I could apologize for the big fat F I was about to score on his exam. I didn't want to leave Yancy Academy with him thinking I hadn't tried.**"

"That's sweet of you, Percy," Mack said, interrupting herself.

Percy smirk/smiled at her. I wanted to slap him again. He was leading her on and he didn't even know it!

"**I walked downstairs to the faculty offices. Most of them were dark and empty, but Mr. Brunner's door was ajar, light from his window stretching across the hallway floor. I was three steps from the door handle when I heard voices inside the office. Mr. Brunner asked a question. A voice that was definitely Grover's said "... worried about Percy, sir." I froze. I'm not usually an eavesdropper,**-"

"Sure you aren't," Nico said, rolling his eyes.

"Are you challenging me?" Percy asked, eyes narrowed. "Name one time I've eavesdropped."

"Hunters. At the mess hall."

Percy looked embarrassed.

"Luke's ship, with Tyson and me," I added.

Percy scowled at me, then laughed, put an arm around my shoulder, and kissed the top of my head. My heart sped up and I sensed many jealous glares on me.

"-**but I dare you to try not listening if you hear your best friend talking about you to an adult.**"

I shrugged (which is difficult when there's an arm draped over your shoulders, but I managed) and said, "That's true, I suppose."

"**I inched closer. "... alone this summer," Grover was saying. "I mean, a Kindly One in the school! Now that we know for sure, and they know too-" "We would only make matters worse by rushing him," Mr. Brunner said. "We need the boy to mature more."**"

Thalia snorted. "Good luck with that. I mean, sure, Kelp Head's a bit taller and buffer, but on the inside, he's still, like, ten."

Percy laughed. "I couldn't agree more, Sparky the First. With the first part. I am taller, buffer, and also handsomer by a lot, but I'm not ten!" He grinned. "I am at least twelve."

Everyone laughed.

"**"But he may not have time. The summer solstice deadline- " "Will have to be resolved without him, Grover. Let him enjoy his ignorance while he still can." "Sir, he saw her... ." "His imagination," Mr. Brunner insisted. "The Mist over the students and staff will be enough to convince him of that."**"

"Not anymore," I muttered. Percy grinned sheepishly at me.

"**"Sir, I ... I can't fail in my duties again." Grover's voice was choked with emotion. "You know what that would mean." **

**"You haven't failed, Grover," Mr. Brunner said kindly. "I should have seen her for what she was. Now let's just worry about keeping Percy alive until next fall-" The mythology book dropped out of my hand and hit the floor with a thud.**"

I groaned. "What is it with you and dropping this book."

Percy pouted. He is _so_ cute when he pouts. Damn, I sound like an Aphrodite girl.

"**Mr. Brunner went silent. My heart hammering, I picked up the book and backed down the hall. A shadow slid across the lighted glass of Brunner's office door, the shadow of something much taller than my wheelchair-bound teacher, holding something that looked suspiciously like an archer's bow.**"

"Really Chiron!" my mother cried. "In your regular form where any mortal could see you?"

Chiron blushed.

Percy grinned and whispered to me, "His fetlocks must have fallen asleep."

I giggled. That was usually Chiron's excuse to get of the wheelchair.

Chiron shifted and sent the gods a quizzical look. They subtly shook their heads and Chiron settled again, looking disappointed.

"**I opened the nearest door and slipped inside. A few seconds later I heard a slow clop-clop-clop, like muffled wood blocks, then a sound like an animal snuffling right outside my door. A large, dark shape paused in front of the glass, then moved on. A bead of sweat trickled down my neck. Somewhere in the hallway, Mr. Brunner spoke. "Nothing," he murmured. "My nerves haven't been right since the winter solstice." "Mine neither," Grover said. "But I could have sworn ..." "Go back to the dorm," Mr. Brunner told him. "You've got a long day of exams tomorrow." "Don't remind me." The lights went out in Mr. Brunner's office. I waited in the dark for what seemed like forever. Finally, I slipped out into the hallway and made my way back up to the dorm. Grover was lying on his bed, studying his Latin exam notes like he'd been there all night. "Hey," he said, bleary-eyed. "You going to be ready for this test?" I didn't answer. "You look awful." He frowned. "Is everything okay?" "Just... tired." I turned so he couldn't read my expression, and started getting ready for bed.**"

"That doesn't help Perce," Grover said, exasperated.

Percy smiled at him. "I know, G-man. Believe me, I know."

"**I didn't understand what I'd heard downstairs. I wanted to believe I'd imagined the whole thing. But one thing was clear: Grover and Mr. Brunner were talking about me behind my back. They thought I was in some kind of danger.**"

I rolled my eyes. "Because you were, Seaweed Brain."

"Well I was twelve and I had no idea what in Hades was going on, so can you really blame me?"

I scowled and muttered, "I hate when you're actually right."

"**The next afternoon, as I was leaving the three-hour Latin exam, my eyes swimming with all the Greek and Roman names I'd misspelled, Mr. Brunner called me back inside. For a moment, I was worried he'd found out about my eavesdropping the night before, but that didn't seem to be the problem. "Percy," he said. "Don't be discouraged about leaving Yancy. It's ... it's for the best." His tone was kind, but the words still embarrassed me. Even though he was speaking quietly, the other kids finishing the test could hear. Nancy Bobofit smirked at me and made sarcastic little kissing motions with her lips.**"

"I'm going to utterly destroy that bitch," I mumbled. The worst part was that she would probably have a crush on Percy now if she saw him again.

"No worries," Percy said. "She's in the past. She doesn't matter."

He smiled that kind, sad smile at me, and I realized that this was his way of telling me that none of the hardships we'd suffered in the past mattered anymore. We won. All that mattered now was the present and the future.

I smiled to let him know that I understood, then grabbed his hand. He squeezed mine reassuringly.

Mack glared at our clasped hands before continuing with a scowl on her face.

"**I mumbled, "Okay, sir." "I mean ..." Mr. Brunner wheeled his chair back and forth, like he wasn't sure what to say. "This isn't the right place for you. It was only a matter of time." My eyes stung. Here was my favorite teacher, in front of the class, telling me I couldn't handle it. After saying he believed in me all year, now he was telling me I was destined to get kicked out. "Right," I said, trembling. "No, no," Mr. Brunner said. "Oh, confound it all. What I'm trying to say ... you're not normal, Percy. That's nothing to be-" "Thanks," I blurted. "Thanks a lot, sir, for reminding me. "Percy-" But I was already gone.**"

Poseidon glared at Chiron.

Chiron sighed. "I realize that what I said was not the best thing to say."

Percy laughed. "It's okay, Chiron. I get it now."

Chiron smiled gratefully at his favorite student (even I admit that it's true, I'm not Chiron's favorite student, Percy is).

"**On the last day of the term, I shoved my clothes into my suitcase. The other guys were joking around, talking about their vacation plans. One of them was going on a hiking trip to Switzerland. Another was cruising the Caribbean for a month. They were juvenile delinquents, like me, but they were rich juvenile delinquents. Their daddies were executives, or ambassadors, or celebrities. I was a nobody, from a family of nobodies.**"

Zeus glared at Percy. "Nobodies?"

Percy laughed nervously. "Not you guys. I didn't know I was related to the gods yet."

Zeus narrowed his eyes but nodded at Mack to continue.

"**They asked me what I'd be doing this summer and I told them I was going back to the city. What I didn't tell them was that I'd have to get a summer job walking dogs or selling magazine subscriptions, and spend my free time worrying about where I'd go to school in the fall. "Oh," one of the guys said. "That's cool." They went back to their conversation as if I'd never existed.**"

"Rude much?!" Thalia cried indignantly.

"No one talks to my Seaweed Brain that way," I muttered under my breath, clutching Percy's shirt to help steady myself. "I'll kill them if they do. I would go back in time and kill them now if I could."

Percy smiled at me. Mack (and all of the other girls in the class, but Mack was my only real rival) glared at me.

"**During the whole bus ride, Grover kept glancing nervously down the aisle, watching the other passengers. It occurred to me that he'd always acted nervous and fidgety when we left Yancy, as if he expected something bad to happen. Before, I'd always assumed he was worried about getting teased. But there was nobody to tease him on the Greyhound. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore. I said, "Looking for Kindly Ones?"**"

"Really Percy!" Hazel scolded, trying and failing to hide a smile. "How inconsiderate of you!"

"I agree with Hazel, you must have scared Grover out of his fur!" Katie cried.

Grover nodded sincerely. "He did."

"**Grover nearly jumped out of his seat. "Wha-what do you mean?" I confessed about eavesdropping on him and Mr. Brunner the night before the exam. Grover's eye twitched. "How much did you hear?" "Oh ... not much. What's the summer solstice dead-line?"**"

"'Oh… not much,' he said," Thalia mocked him. "Just the whole damn thing, Percy!"

Percy laughed. "I didn't know that the summer solstice deadline was the 'whole damn thing,' Thals!"

"**He winced. "Look, Percy ... I was just worried for you, see? I mean, hallucinating about demon math teachers ..." "Grover-" "And I was telling Mr. Brunner that maybe you were overstressed or something, because there was no such person as Mrs. Dodds, and ..." "Grover, you're a really, really bad liar." His ears turned pink.**"

I shook my head. "We've told you a million times, Grover: you cannot lie."

Grover blushed and began playing with his sneakers. When he slid his fake feet off, everyone gasped. He rolled his eyes. "Didn't you guys already know I was a satyr?" he asked.

Percy's inquisitive friend, Steven, nodded, then whispered, "Still, hearing and seeing are two very different things." Then he gulped.

Percy shook his head and smiled. I caught a couple of girls melting.

_Yeah, well you can melt all you want in the Fields of Punishment,_ I thought savagely, but I didn't do anything. Chiron would have killed me if I attacked mortals, especially now.

"**From his shirt pocket, he fished out a grubby business card. "Just take this, okay? In case you need me this summer. The card was in fancy script, which was murder on my dyslexic eyes, but I finally made out something like: Grover Underwood Keeper Half-Blood Hill Long Island, New York (800) 009-0009 "What's Half-" "Don't say it aloud!" he yelped. "That's my, um ... summer address." My heart sank. Grover had a summer home. I'd never considered that his family might be as rich as the others at Yancy. "Okay," I said glumly. "So, like, if I want to come visit your mansion." He nodded. "Or ... or if you need me." "Why would I need you?" It came out harsher than I meant it to.**"

"That was really mean," Grover said, hurt.

Percy smiled apologetically. "I said I didn't mean it like that."

"**Grover blushed right down to his Adam's apple. "Look, Percy, the truth is, I- I kind of have to protect you." I stared at him. All year long, I'd gotten in fights, keeping bullies away from him. I'd lost sleep worrying that he'd get beaten up next year without me. And here he was acting like he was the one who defended me. "Grover," I said, "what exactly are you protecting me from?" There was a huge grinding noise under our feet. Black smoke poured from the dashboard and the whole bus filled with a smell like rotten eggs. The driver cursed and limped the Greyhound over to the side of the highway. After a few minutes clanking around in the engine compartment, the driver announced that we'd all have to get off. Grover and I filed outside with everybody else. We were on a stretch of country road-no place you'd notice if you didn't break down there. On our side of the highway was nothing but maple trees and litter from passing cars. On the other side, across four lanes of asphalt shimmering with afternoon heat, was an old-fashioned fruit stand. The stuff on sale looked really good: heaping boxes of bloodred cherries and apples, walnuts and apricots, jugs of cider in a claw-foot tub full of ice. There were no customers, just three old ladies sitting in rocking chairs in the shade of a maple tree, knitting the biggest pair of socks I'd ever seen.**"

"The Fates," Poseidon growled. Zeus and Hades nodded, looking uncomfortable. The Fates were quite possibly the one thing that the Big Three feared.

"**I mean these socks were the size of sweaters, but they were clearly socks. The lady on the right knitted one of them. The lady on the left knitted the other. The lady in the middle held an enormous basket of electric-blue yarn. All three women looked ancient, with pale faces wrinkled like fruit leather, silver hair tied back in white bandannas, bony arms sticking out of bleached cotton dresses. The weirdest thing was, they seemed to be looking right at me. I looked over at Grover to say something about this and saw that the blood had drained from his face. His nose was twitching. "Grover?" I said. "Hey, man-" "Tell me they're not looking at you. They are, aren't they?" "Yeah. Weird, huh? You think those socks would fit me?"**"

Chris shook his head. "There is a time and a place for jokes, Perce, and that's not it."

Percy didn't react. He was pale. He glanced at me and muttered, "Αυτή ήταν η σειρά του Λουκά." _This was Luke's string._

I gasped. Percy had seen _Luke's_ life string being cut?

I tried to catch his eyes, but Percy was looking determinedly at Mack.

Mack sent me an almost undetectable smirk before continuing.

"**"Not funny, Percy. Not funny at all." The old lady in the middle took out a huge pair of scissors-gold and silver, long-bladed, like shears. I heard Grover catch his breath. "We're getting on the bus," he told me. "Come on." "What?" I said. "It's a thousand degrees in there." "Come on!'" He pried open the door and climbed inside, but I stayed back. Across the road, the old ladies were still watching me. The middle one cut the yarn, and I swear I could hear that snip across four lanes of traffic. Her two friends balled up the electric-blue socks, leaving me wondering who they could possibly be for- Sasquatch or Godzilla.**"

"Stop it, Percy," I whispered, putting my head in my hands. "You Seaweed Brain, don't make jokes about something so serious…"

Percy put his arm around me. "Hey, Wise Girl, I'm right here, I'm fine." He pulled me up to him and kissed me, like he was reassuring me. Then he stopped and listened once more.

"**At the rear of the bus, the driver wrenched a big chunk of smoking metal out of the engine compartment. The bus shuddered, and the engine roared back to life. The passengers cheered. "Darn right!" yelled the driver. He slapped the bus with his hat. "Everybody back on board!"**"

"How did that metal get in there?" Leo asked, serious for once. Machinery was something he understood and was serious about.

Percy shrugged, his beautiful eyes dark. "Just a way to get me to see something important, I think."

"**Once we got going, I started feeling feverish, as if I'd caught the flu. Grover didn't look much better. He was shivering and his teeth were chattering. "Grover?" "Yeah?" "What are you not telling me?" He dabbed his forehead with his shirt sleeve. "Percy, what did you see back at the fruit stand?" "You mean the old ladies? What is it about them, man? They're not like ... Mrs. Dodds, are they?" His expression was hard to read, but I got the feeling that the fruit-stand ladies were something much, much worse than Mrs. Dodds.**"

I shuddered. "You're right, Percy."

He sent me a sad glance.

"**He said, "Just tell me what you saw." "The middle one took out her scissors, and she cut the yarn." He closed his eyes and made a gesture with his fingers that might've been crossing himself, but it wasn't. It was something else, something almost-older. He said, "You saw her snip the cord." "Yeah. So?" But even as I said it, I knew it was a big deal. "This is not happening," Grover mumbled. He started chewing at his thumb. "I don't want this to be like the last time." "What last time?" "Always sixth grade. They never get past sixth." "Grover," I said, because he was really starting to scare me. "What are you talking about?" "Let me walk you home from the bus station. Promise me." This seemed like a strange request to me, but I promised he could. "Is this like a superstition or something?" I asked. No answer. "Grover-that snipping of the yarn. Does that mean somebody is going to die?" He looked at me mournfully, like he was already picking the kind of flowers I'd like best on my coffin.**"

"That's the end of the chapter," Mack said. She glared at Percy's arm around my shoulder. I smiled at her. She turned her glare on me. I glared at her. Her gaze faltered, but she sent me one more venomous glance before turning her eyes to Percy once more. I narrowed my own. This girl was no normal opponent. I would have to watch my back.

"So who wants to read now?" Mack asked.

"I will," I said. She handed the book to me, not meeting my eyes.

I grabbed the book and looked at the chapter name. An amused smile lit my features. With a small glance at Percy, I read out, "**Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Pants**."

**Well? How did I do? *sigh* And enjoy this too much. But it's so much FUN!**

**Now, for business. If you do not review, I do not post. Period. So RFF.**

**There. That has been said. So...**

**The word of the day is GLOBAL VILLAGE...? Uh, yeah. Um... weird. Look it up.**

**Huh. Oh well.**

**Love ya! lulu**


	4. GroverUnexpectedlyLosesHisPants

**AND MORE! I am on a ROLL!**

**Don't even ask. You know it's Ricky's. EVERYTHING IN BOLD IS RICKY'S! Except for the author's notes.**

**Now read, my lovely nerds!**

_**Chapter 4: Chapter 3: Grover Unexpectedly Loses His Pants**_

**Daniel's POV**

I desperately wanted to laugh at the dumb chapter name, but I didn't. I had to project a calm, mature image for hot, blonde, and sexy, who was reading. Also, I didn't want to be on the other end of Jackson's glare again. That guy was totally fake, but people obviously believed him when he lied about his achievements, or they were too scared of his freaky glare to contradict him. I don't know how he got Annabeth (that's hot, blonde, and sexy's name), but I will prove that I am better than him. I mean, she hasn't even been with him in any of this. I don't know her, but I trust her more than goat boy and Percy "I'm-oh-so-perfect" Jackson. I'll believe his achievements when she says they're real.

What did she even see in Jackson? What did any of the people in this room see in Jackson? Before he came along, _I_ was the guy every girl had a crush on! _I_ was the dude every guy had to be friends with in order to be considered cool! But then perfect Percy came along. He was better than me at EVERYTHING! Even swimming and basketball, my two best sports! Even history, my best subject! I only beat him in English and math, big whoop! He even had all these kids looking up to him, like he was some god, like he had saved their lives! And he was even half GOD! Son of one of the most powerful Greek gods ever! It wasn't FAIR!

Annabeth was beginning to read, so I stepped out of my mental "self pity/be mad at Jackson" room to listen.

"**Confession time: I ditched Grover as soon as we got to the bus terminal.**"

Annabeth paused as she and Grover shot glares at Percy. He actually seemed relatively calm as he made a gesture like "read on" and mouthed, "I explain."

"**I know, I know. It was rude. But Grover was freaking me out, looking at me like I was a dead man, muttering "Why does this always happen?" and "Why does it always have to he sixth grade?"**"

Now Annabeth was shaking her head and smirking (sexily, I might add) while looking sternly at a now blushing Grover.

"**Whenever he got upset, Grover's bladder acted up, so I wasn't surprised when, as soon as we got off the bus, he made me promise to wait for him, then made a beeline for the restroom. Instead of waiting, I got my suitcase, slipped outside, and caught the first taxi uptown. "East One-hundred-and-fourth and First," I told the driver. A word about my mother, before you meet her.**"

"She is the most amazing woman in the world," Jackson interrupted. Yes, I was the one who said "Mama's boy" before, and I was tempted to do so again, but, as I have already said, I wanted to appear more mature than mother-loving Jackson.

"**Her name is Sally Jackson and she's the best person in the world, which just proves my theory that the best people have the rottenest luck.**"

"Then you are the greatest person in the world, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth interrupted herself, "because you have the WORST luck."

Percy laughed at her, then blushed as everyone agreed.

Please. All of that modest crap had to be an act. No one was that humble.

"**Her own parents died in a plane crash when she was five, and she was raised by an uncle who didn't care much about her. She wanted to be a novelist, so she spent high school working to save enough money for a college with a good creative-writing program. Then her uncle got cancer, and she had to quit school her senior year to take care of him. After he died, she was left with no money, no family, and no diploma.**"

_Oh, what a depressingly sad sob story! It would be more depressingly sad if I actually _cared_,_ I thought with a smirk. I didn't say anything, because I have no interest in getting killed, but it was true.

"**The only good break she ever got was meeting my dad. I don't have any memories of him, just this sort of warm glow, maybe the barest trace of his smile. My mom doesn't like to talk about him because it makes her sad. She has no pictures. See, they weren't married. She told me he was rich and important, and their relationship was a secret. Then one day, he set sail across the Atlantic on some important journey, and he never came back. Lost at sea, my mom told me. Not dead. Lost at sea.**"

Hermes nodded his approval at the almost-but-not-quite lie that Jackson's mother had told him. He then turned to a grinning, slightly teary Poseidon, who was smiling happily at the mention of the woman he had loved.

Hmph. So the gods didn't just randomly rendezvous with random, worthless people or rape physically attractive women. They actually fell in love.

Or maybe that was just Poseidon. If I was a god, I'd use my status to get ladies, including Annabeth. Unfortunately, I was not lucky enough to be a god.

Another reason to hate Jackson: he had more luck than people gave him credit for. He was half-god, wasn't he? He had Annabeth at his side, didn't he?

Asshole.

"**She worked odd jobs, took night classes to get her high school diploma, and raised me on her own. She never complained or got mad. Not even once. But I knew I wasn't an easy kid.**"

"Understatement of the century," the mildly hot punk girl (Thalia, I think) muttered to the pretty Native American girl next to her. The girl snickered. Jackson glared half-heartedly at them. Anyone could see he agreed wholeheartedly.

"**Finally, she married Gabe Ugliano, who was nice the first thirty seconds we knew him, then showed his true colors as a world-class jerk. When I was young, I nick-named him Smelly Gabe. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. The guy reeked like moldy garlic pizza wrapped in gym shorts.**"

Everyone laughed, me included. That was the nastiest description ever! The only people who didn't laugh were Jackson, Annabeth, Grover, Thalia, and an emo kid with pale skin (Nico or something). The last few looked at the first sympathetically while Annabeth and Grover clenched their fists.

"**Between the two of us, we made my mom's life pretty hard. The way Smelly Gabe treated her, the way he and I got along ... well, when I came home is a good example. I walked into our little apartment, hoping my mom would be home from work. Instead, Smelly Gabe was in the living room, playing poker with his buddies. The television blared ESPN. Chips and beer cans were strewn all over the carpet. Hardly looking up, he said around his cigar, "So, you're home." "Where's my mom?" "Working," he said. "You got any cash?"**"

"Bastard," Annabeth snarled. I was surprised at her evident viciousness. She seemed like a sneakier, clever type, not the kind who would speak that way. But hey, she was unpredictable.

I like unpredictable.

"**That was it. No Welcome back. Good to see you. How has your life been the last six months? Gabe had put on weight. He looked like a tuskless walrus in thrift-store clothes. He had about three hairs on his head, all combed over his bald scalp, as if that made him handsome or something.**"

Thalia and Nico laughed harshly at the description. Grover looked too angry to speak. Annabeth actually had to stop reading to calm herself.

"**He managed the Electronics Mega-Mart in Queens, but he stayed home most of the time. I don't know why he hadn't been fired long before. He just kept on collecting paychecks, spending the money on cigars that made me nauseous, and on beer, of course. Always beer. Whenever I was home, he expected me to provide his gambling funds. He called that our "guy secret." Meaning, if I told my mom, he would punch my lights out.**"

Annabeth's voice had grown increasingly shaky, but at these words she dropped the book and turned to Jackson, mouth tight, eyes stormy. She looked terrifying, yet fragile, as though she would break at any second.

"Percy," she said, her voice shaking with anger.

"Annabeth, calm down," Jackson said, placing his arms on her shoulders, but she shook him off.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, teary-eyed. "Why?"

"I didn't want you to worry," Jackson replied. "Gabe is gone now, Annabeth. He can't do anything to me or my mother anymo-"

"You idiot!" Annabeth cried, cutting him off. "You're carrying this all on your own! You could have told me, or Grover, or Thalia, or Nico! We could have helped you!" She was winding down, sobbing uncontrollably. "We could have helped you."

This time, when Jackson opened his arms, she went into them, sobbing into his shirt.

Chiron cleared his throat. "I suppose someone else should read."

A girl stood up. It was Jezebel, the school slut. She used to be all over me, which was gratifying but annoying, but then she abandoned me for Jackson, which was a relief, but it meant that I wasn't the number one hottest guy anymore.

Jezebel batted her eyelashes at Jackson. "I'll read, Percy," she cooed. Annabeth was slowly stopping her tears. She glared at Jezebel. Even after crying, Annabeth was beautiful. Even after crying over Jackson, she was back in his arms. Even after crying over him, she was jealous.

Damn you, Jackson!

"Okay, Jezebel, you can read," Jackson said, taking the book from Annabeth and holding it out to Jezebel.

Jezebel smiled her thanks, leaning forward to give Jackson a nice view of her cleavage, but he didn't notice. He was comforting Annabeth again. Jezebel huffed, muttered something about wasted effort and dumb blondes (which was ironic because her own, naturally brown hair was dyed blond), and, after shooting a scathing look at Annabeth, she flounced back to her seat, wobbling slightly in five inch red heels. As she sat down, her breasts bounced into view. They weren't exactly hard to see, what with her wearing a bright, neon blue crop top (blue because it was Jackson's favorite color) that was almost a bra, but they nearly flopped out of her top. A few guys were checking her out, but most were still focused on Annabeth. Jezebel was hot, what with her mini miniskirts and crazy crop tops, but she threw herself at guys, and Annabeth was hot and taken. That made guys want to have her even more, just because she was off-limits. Besides, even with her wearing a simple orange tank top, jean shorts, and sneakers, she was much hotter than Jezebel. Jezebel caked on makeup. She had hair styled to perfection. Annabeth was natural, with little to no makeup and curling blond hair that Jezebel just couldn't achieve. Annabeth was breathtaking. She was a goddess (well, half goddess).

Jezebel, still annoyed about Percy not noticing her ploy for attention, began to read.

"**"I don't have any cash," I told him. He raised a greasy eyebrow. Gabe could sniff out money like a bloodhound, which was surprising, since his own smell should've covered up everything else.**"

"So true," Grover muttered.

"**"You took a taxi from the bus station," he said. Probably paid with a twenty. Got six, seven bucks in change. Somebody expects to live under this roof, he ought to carry his own weight. Am I right, Eddie?" Eddie, the super of the apartment building, looked at me with a twinge of sympathy. "Come on, Gabe," he said. "The kid just got here." "Am I right?" Gabe repeated. Eddie scowled into his bowl of pretzels. The other two guys passed gas in harmony. "Fine," I said. I dug a wad of dollars out of my pocket and threw the money on the table. "I hope you lose." "Your report card came, brain boy!" he shouted after me. "I wouldn't act so snooty!" I slammed the door to my room, which really wasn't my room. During school months, it was Gabe's "study." He didn't study anything in there except old car magazines, but he loved shoving my stuff in the closet, leaving his muddy boots on my windowsill, and doing his best to make the place smell like his nasty cologne and cigars and stale beer. I dropped my suitcase on the bed. Home sweet home. Gabe's smell was almost worse than the nightmares about Mrs. Dodds, or the sound of that old fruit lady's shears snipping the yarn.**"

Grover nodded.

Annabeth, who had stopped crying, glanced at Jackson and giggled weakly. "Is it really that bad, Seaweed Brain?"

Jackson nodded, his eyes tender.

I desperately wanted him to toss her to the ground and go make out with Jezebel or something so I could comfort Annabeth, but I was beginning to realize that that wasn't gonna happen any time soon. I needed a new plan.

Jezebel was evidently irritated by Jackson being all tender and making goo-goo eyes at Annabeth, so she started reading once more.

"**But as soon as I thought that, my legs felt weak. I remembered Grover's look of panic- how he'd made me promise I wouldn't go home without him. A sudden chill rolled through me. I felt like someone- something- was looking for me right now, maybe pounding its way up the stairs, growing long, horrible talons.**"

All of the demigods shivered. I smirked. Wimps. If Jackson could face a Fury, I bet I could take one. Heck, I could beat all three in the amount of time it took Jackson to beat one!

"**Then I heard my mom's voice. "Percy?" She opened the bedroom door, and my fears melted. My mother can make me feel good just by walking into the room. Her eyes sparkle and change color in the light. Her smile is as warm as a quilt. She's got a few gray streaks mixed in with her long brown hair, but I never think of her as old. When she looks at me, it's like she's seeing all the good things about me, none of the bad. I've never heard her raise her voice or say an unkind word to anyone, not even me or Gabe.**"

"That's because Sally is an angel of kindness," Mack-bitchy (oh, sorry, _Mackenzie_) said to no one in particular. A bunch of demigods, a few gods, and a couple of mortals nodded in agreement. Mr. Blofis and Jackson nodded especially hard.

"**"Oh, Percy." She hugged me tight. "I can't believe it. You've grown since Christmas!" Her red-white-and-blue Sweet on America uniform smelled like the best things in the world: chocolate, licorice, and all the other stuff she sold at the candy shop in Grand Central. She'd brought me a huge bag of "free samples," the way she always did when I came home. We sat together on the edge of the bed. While I attacked the blueberry sour strings, she ran her hand through my hair and demanded to know everything I hadn't put in my letters. She didn't mention anything about my getting expelled. She didn't seem to care about that. But was I okay? Was her little boy doing all right? I told her she was smothering me, and to lay off and all that, but secretly, I was really, really glad to see her. From the other room, Gabe yelled, "Hey, Sally-how about some bean dip, huh?"**"

"Jerk," the room itself seemed to growl. Only me and a few other guys abstained. We were the guys who didn't like Jackson and thought that this guy, Smelly Gabe, jerk though he was, deserved a medal.

"**I gritted my teeth. My mom is the nicest lady in the world. She should've been married to a millionaire, not to some jerk like Gabe. For her sake, I tried to sound upbeat about my last days at Yancy Academy. I told her I wasn't too down about the expulsion. I'd lasted almost the whole year this time. I'd made some new friends. I'd done pretty well in Latin. And honestly, the fights hadn't been as bad as the headmaster said. I liked Yancy Academy. I really did. I put such a good spin on the year, I almost convinced myself. I started choking up, thinking about Grover and Mr. Brunner. Even Nancy Bobofit suddenly didn't seem so bad.**"

"That's hard to do, Perce," Grover said, looking at Jackson, impressed. Seriously? It takes so little to impress them. Jackson isn't all that great. He can't be.

"**Until that trip to the museum... "What?" my mom asked. Her eyes tugged at my conscience, trying to pull out the secrets. "Did something scare you?" "No, Mom." I felt bad lying. I wanted to tell her about Mrs. Dodds and the three old ladies with the yarn, but I thought it would sound stupid. She pursed her lips. She knew I was holding back, but she didn't push me. "I have a surprise for you," she said. "We're going to the beach." My eyes widened. "Montauk?" "Three nights-same cabin." "When?" She smiled. "As soon as I get changed." I couldn't believe it. My mom and I hadn't been to Montauk the last two summers, because Gabe said there wasn't enough money. Gabe appeared in the doorway and growled, "Bean dip, Sally? Didn't you hear me?"**"

"That bastard," Thalia growled. No one reprimanded her. The guy was a douche. I still approved of his jerky attitude towards Jackson, but that didn't make him less of a douche.

"**I wanted to punch him, but I met my mom's eyes and I understood she was offering me a deal: be nice to Gabe for a little while. Just until she was ready to leave for Montauk. Then we would get out of here. "I was on my way, honey," she told Gabe. "We were just talking about the trip." Gabe's eyes got small. "The trip? You mean you were serious about that?" "I knew it," I muttered. "He won't let us go."**"

"He better," Poseidon snarled. Earlier, he'd seemed like a pretty easy-going dude. Now, his eyes were the color of a stormy sea. I could hear all of the water in the room sloshing around, desperate to obey the will of the master of water.

Then Jackson walked up to the angry god, put an arm on his shoulder and muttered, "Dad, it's okay."

Poseidon calmed down.

The water in the room stopped sloshing.

How did Jackson do that?

Well, whatever. It doesn't matter. He's not that great. He really isn't.

I was having trouble convincing myself now.

Jezebel was busy drooling over Jackson, but when Annabeth walked over and slapped her arm, she came back to herself and, glaring daggers at an innocent looking Annabeth, began reading once more.

"**"Of course he will," my mom said evenly. "Your stepfather is just worried about money. That's all. Besides," she added, "Gabriel won't have to settle for bean dip. I'll make him enough seven-layer dip for the whole weekend. Guacamole. Sour cream. The works."**"

Two boys who looked eerily similar (Tronnor and Cavis? No, obviously it had to be Connor and Travis) grinned evilly and shouted, "BRIBERY!"

Leo, the hyperactive crazy kid, nodded and added, "Your mom rules, Perce!"

Jackson nodded happily. "She really does."

God, what a faker!

Or should that be gods?

"**Gabe softened a bit. "So this money for your trip ... it comes out of your clothes budget, right?"**"

"NO!" a beautiful goddess- obviously Aphrodite- cried. "What will she wear?"

Jezebel nodded along, looking horrified, before continuing.

"**"Yes, honey," my mother said. "And you won't take my car anywhere but there and back." "We'll be very careful." Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with that seven-layer dip ... And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game." Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing soprano for a week.**"

"DO IT!" pretty much everyone cried. Not me. Not my pal Aidan, my closest friend. Not my fellow jock Brian, who was looking at Jackson in disgust. But everyone other than us three.

"**But my mom's eyes warned me not to make him mad. Why did she put up with this guy? I wanted to scream. Why did she care what he thought? "I'm sorry," I muttered. "I'm really sorry I interrupted your incredibly important poker game. Please go back to it right now." Gabe's eyes narrowed. His tiny brain was probably trying to detect sarcasm in my statement.**"

"Trying being the operative word," Jackson put in. I glared at him. He was the one who deserved to be kicked in his soft spot. Smelly Gabe could sing soprano to his heart's content, but Jackson needed a sharp kick in the balls. Or perhaps several. Preferably delivered by me.

"**"Yeah, whatever," he decided.**"

"Trying and failing," Annabeth put in happily.

"We know, Annie Bell," Jezebel snarled.

Quick as a panther, Annabeth unsheathed a knife and held it against Jezebel's throat.

"Don't call me that," she growled. It sounded sexy to me and I heard a boy somewhere near me groan with longing. She sent a glare in his direction before drawing her hand back and resheathing her dagger. Then she walked back to Jackson, who grinned at her. She returned his smile.

Jezebel, casting a fear and hatred filled glance at Annabeth, continued.

"**He went back to his game. "Thank you, Percy," my mom said. "Once we get to Montauk, we'll talk more about... whatever you've forgotten to tell me, okay?" For a moment, I thought I saw anxiety in her eyes-the same fear I'd seen in Grover during the bus ride- as if my mom too felt an odd chill in the air. But then her smile returned, and I figured I must have been mistaken. She ruffled my hair and went to make Gabe his seven-layer dip. An hour later we were ready to leave. Gabe took a break from his poker game long enough to watch me lug my mom's bags to the car. He kept griping and groaning about losing her cooking- and more important, his '78 Camaro- for the whole weekend.**"

"How dare he!" a pretty, auburn-haired girl cried. It was Artemis the man-hater. "How is his stupid car worth more than his wife? This is why I DESPISE men!" She pointed at Jackson. "Perseus is the only good male in this world!"

I was offended. Jackson? The "only good male in this world"? I was good! She just didn't know me. She was probably lied to. Whatever she thought Jackson had done that made him "good" was probably a lie.

That excuse was getting weaker by the minute. A goddess thinks he's worthy. Can you even lie to a goddess?

"**"Not a scratch on this car, brain boy," he warned me as I loaded the last bag. "Not one little scratch."**"

"He's not even driving!" the Cherokee girl (Piper) cried in outrage.

"**Like I'd be the one driving. I was twelve. But that didn't matter to Gabe. If a seagull so much as pooped on his paint job, he'd find a way to blame me.**"

"Like he'd ever even find the strength to go and paint a damn thing that a seagull could shit on," Thalia spat venomously.

"**Watching him lumber back toward the apartment building, I got so mad I did something I can't explain. As Gabe reached the doorway, I made the hand gesture I'd seen Grover make on the bus, a sort of warding-off-evil gesture, a clawed hand over my heart, then a shoving movement toward Gabe.**"

"That won't do anything," a pale man in a dark suit (Hades, obviously) said in a slightly smug voice.

"True," Zeus agreed. "It wards off evil, but that's only in the future. It can't do anything now, so it's pointless."

Jackson looked confused. "Really?"

Zeus and Hades nodded.

Jackson was still looking confused, but he motioned for Jezebel to continue.

"**The screen door slammed shut so hard it whacked him in the butt and sent him flying up the staircase as if he'd been shot from a cannon.**"

Zeus paled. "That shouldn't be possible. No hero has ever done that. Only gods can charge motions with enough power to move things."

Jackson paled. "I'm not a god," he said hastily.

"You almost were," Annabeth countered.

Wait, what?

Other mortals were whispering amongst themselves.

"Almost a god?"

"What do you think she means?"

"He looks like a god, but-"

"Be quiet," Zeus said. "Perseus was offered immortality, but he-" Zeus swallowed uncomfortably- "-he turned it down."

Silence.

Jackson turned down immortality.

Maybe he is the real deal.

"Please continue, Jezebel," Mr. Blofis muttered. Jezebel nodded, still staring at Jackson with adoring eyes and drooling, but she managed to tear her eyes away and continue.

"**Maybe it was just the wind, or some freak accident with the hinges, but I **

**didn't stay long enough to find out. I got in the Camaro and told my mom to step on it. Our rental cabin was on the south shore, way out at the tip of Long Island. It was a little pastel box with faded curtains, half sunken into the dunes. There was always sand in the sheets and spiders in the cabinets, and most of the time the sea was too cold to swim in. I loved the place. We'd been going there since I was a baby. My mom had been going even longer. She never exactly said, but I knew why the beach was special to her. It was the place where she'd met my dad.**"

"Aww!" two girls said. One was Piper, who looked horrified and sent an angry glance at Aphrodite and cried, "Mother!" Aphrodite smiled innocently at her (so Piper is a daughter of Aphrodite… explains the freakishly good looks). The other was a girl with straight blonde hair in pigtails and a mouth full of braces. Still, she somehow managed to be very pretty. Probably another daughter of Aphrodite. She grinned at Piper, who glared at her and muttered, "Stuff it, Lacy."

A boy laughed at this. He had dark hair and eyes and was pretty good-looking. Not like me, but still good. Piper glared at him and said, "Mitchell, don't make me gut you." Mitchell shut up.

"**As we got closer to Montauk, she seemed to grow younger, years of worry and work disappearing from her face. Her eyes turned the color of the sea. We got there at sunset, opened all the cabin's windows, and went through our usual cleaning routine. We walked on the beach, fed blue corn chips to the seagulls, and munched on blue jelly beans, blue saltwater taffy, and all the other free samples my mom had brought from work.**"

"What's with the blue food?" Megan, one of Jezebel's cronies, asked while batting her eyelashes at Jackson.

"It's explained later," Jackson replied.

Why couldn't he just go to one of the whores and leave Annabeth for me?

"**I guess I should explain the blue food. See, Gabe had once told my mom there was no such thing. They had this fight, which seemed like a really small thing at the time. But ever since, my mom went out of her way to eat blue. She baked blue birthday cakes. She mixed blueberry smoothies. She bought blue-corn tortilla chips and brought home blue candy from the shop. This- along with keeping her maiden name, Jackson, rather than calling herself Mrs. Ugliano- was proof that she wasn't totally suckered by Gabe. She did have a rebellious streak, like me.**"

Poseidon sighed softly. "Understatement. She was rebellious and stubborn and independent. She knew what she wanted."

Mr. Blofis nodded. "She still does."

The two men who loved Sally Jackson shared a glance. Apparently they understood each other.

"**When it got dark, we made a fire. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. Mom told me stories about when she was a kid, back before her parents died in the plane crash. She told me about the books she wanted to write someday, when she had enough money to quit the candy shop. Eventually, I got up the nerve to ask about what was always on my mind whenever we came to Montauk-my father. Mom's eyes went all misty. I figured she would tell me the same things she always did, but I never got tired of hearing them. "He was kind, Percy," she said. "Tall, handsome, and powerful. But gentle, too. You have his black hair, you know, and his green eyes." Mom fished a blue jelly bean out of her candy bag. "I wish he could see you, Percy. He would be so proud." I wondered how she could say that. What was so great about me? A dyslexic, hyperactive boy with a D+ report card, kicked out of school for the sixth time in six years. "How old was I?" I asked. "I mean... when he left?" She watched the flames. "He was only with me for one summer, Percy. Right here at this beach. This cabin." "But... he knew me as a baby." "No, honey. He knew I was expecting a baby, but he never saw you. He had to leave before you were born." I tried to square that with the fact that I seemed to remember... something about my father. A warm glow. A smile. I had always assumed he knew me as a baby.**"

"I visited you once," Poseidon said quietly. "You were two. It was your birthday."

Jackson nodded and smiled. "Dad, whatever I say in these books, I do love you."

Poseidon nodded, tears in his eyes.

Ugh! Too much lovey-dovey stuff. Gross.

"**My mom had never said it outright, but still, I'd felt it must be true. Now, to be told that he'd never even seen me... I felt angry at my father.**"

Poseidon and Jackson flinched.

"Sorry, Dad," Jackson muttered.

Poseidon nodded, looking a little shaken. "It's all fine, son. I-I understand why you would feel that way. I'm the one who should be sorry."

How sentimental.

Yuck.

"**Maybe it was stupid, but I resented him for going on that ocean voyage, for not having the guts to marry my mom. He'd left us, and now we were stuck with Smelly Gabe. "Are you going to send me away again?" I asked her. "To another boarding school?" She pulled a marshmallow from the fire. "I don't know, honey." Her voice was heavy. "I think... I think we'll have to do something." "Because you don't want me around?"**"

Annabeth glared at Jackson. "Perseus Jackson."

Jackson sighed. "Annabeth, just listen."

"**I regretted the words as soon as they were out.**"

Annabeth sighed in relief. "Good."

"**My mom's eyes welled with tears. She took my hand, squeezed it tight. "Oh, Percy, no. I- I have to, honey. For your own good. I have to send you away." Her words reminded me of what Mr. Brunner had said- that it was best for me to leave Yancy. "Because I'm not normal," I said. "You say that as if it's a bad thing, Percy. But you don't realize how important you are. I thought Yancy Academy would be far enough away. I thought you'd finally be safe." "Safe from what?" She met my eyes, and a flood of memories came back to me-all the weird, scary things that had ever happened to me, some of which I'd tried to forget. During third grade, a man in a black trench coat had stalked me on the playground. When the teachers threatened to call the police, he went away growling, but no one believed me when I told them that under his broad-brimmed hat, the man only had one eye, right in the middle of his head.**"

"I sent him to check on you," Poseidon muttered.

Jackson smiled. "I kinda guessed that."

Poseidon smiled back.

"**Before that- a really early memory… I was in preschool, and a teacher accidentally put me down for a nap in a cot that a snake had slithered into. My mom screamed when she came to pick me up and found me playing with a limp, scaly rope I'd somehow managed to strangle to death with my meaty toddler hands.**"

All of the gods looked at him with wide, terrified eyes.

"The last hero to do that…" a freakishly (and unfairly) hot guy with a great tan- Apollo, probably- muttered.

"Was Hercules," said a woman who was obviously Athena. She was beautiful, and she had Annabeth's calculating grey eyes.

She was studying Jackson. Not like she was interested in his looks, but like she was intrigued by his past and was trying to analyze him.

Poseidon looked extremely proud. Jackson looked surprised, uncomfortable, and, oddly enough, mad.

"I hate being compared to that guy," he muttered.

He hated being compared to Hercules? Why? Was that guy too cool for him? Or was Jackson upset because he wasn't the greatest out there?

Jason walked up to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I know how you feel," he muttered. "Herc the Jerk."

Did they just call _the_ Hercules "Herc the Jerk"?

Jackson nodded, relieved that someone understood where he was coming from.

No, that couldn't be the reason he hated being compared to Hercules. Hercules was my role model. He wasn't a jerk, he was a hero. Jackson was just jealous. He obviously didn't like that Hercules did things that he didn't do.

I wasn't so sure anymore.

"**In every single school, something creepy had happened, something unsafe, and I was forced to move. I knew I should tell my mom about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds at the art museum, about my weird hallucination that I had sliced my math teacher into dust with a sword. But I couldn't make myself tell her. I had a strange feeling the news would end our trip to Montauk, and I didn't want that.**"

"You stupid kelp head!" Thalia snarled. "You should have just told her!"

"I know that, Thalia!" Jackson barked back.

Thalia scowled. "Still."

"**"I've tried to keep you as close to me as I could," my mom said. "They told me that was a mistake. But there's only one other option, Percy-the place your father wanted to send you. And I just... I just can't stand to do it." "My father wanted me to go to a special school?" "Not a school," she said softly. "A summer camp."**"

"Yeah, the coolest camp ever," Jackson said.

"Hey, New Rome's pretty sweet, too," Jason replied.

Jackson laughed and nodded his agreement, adding on a quick, "Touche, Sparky."

What was with all the weird nicknames?

"Could I go to your camp?" Jezebel asked flirtatiously.

"No," Annabeth snapped back with a smirk. "I'm afraid you don't meet our requirements, mortal."

Oh, so it was some god spawn only camp, like for rich kids, only for half-bloods.

Damn. It would have been sweet to be able to go to camp with Annabeth.

"**My head was spinning. Why would my dad- who hadn't even stayed around long enough to see me born- talk to my mom about a summer camp? And if it was so important, why hadn't she ever mentioned it before? "I'm sorry, Percy," she said, seeing the look in my eyes. "But I can't talk about it. I- I couldn't send you to that place. It might mean saying good-bye to you for good." "For good? But if it's only a summer camp..." She turned toward the fire, and I knew from her expression that if I asked her any more questions she would start to cry. That night I had a vivid dream.**"

"Oh, I hate your dreams," Annabeth muttered. "You get the worst."

"**It was storming on the beach, and two beautiful animals, a white horse and a golden eagle, were trying to kill each other at the edge of the surf.**"

"Hey, that's us, Zeus!" Poseidon cried in delight. Zeus nodded happily.

"**The eagle swooped down and slashed the horse's muzzle with its huge talons. The horse reared up and kicked at the eagles wings. As they fought, the ground rumbled, and a monstrous voice chuckled somewhere beneath the earth, goading the animals to fight harder. I ran toward them, knowing I had to stop them from killing each other, but I was running in slow motion. I knew I would be too late. I saw the eagle dive down, its beak aimed at the horse's wide eyes, and I screamed, No! I woke with a start.**"

"HA! I win!" Zeus cried. Poseidon looked dejected.

Annabeth looked surprised. "That wasn't actually that bad."

I saw lots of girls glance at Jackson in concern, especially Mack-bitchy, who obviously had a huge crush on him. They seemed worried.

Why couldn't Jackson just make out with Mack-bitchy and leave Annabeth behind?

"**Outside, it really was storming, the kind of storm that cracks trees and blows down houses. There was no horse or eagle on the beach, just lightning making false daylight, and twenty-foot waves pounding the dunes like artillery. With the next thunderclap, my mom woke. She sat up, eyes wide, and said, "Hurricane." I knew that was crazy. Long Island never sees hurricanes this early in the summer. But the ocean seemed to have forgotten.**"

Poseidon shrugged apologetically. "What can I say? I'm forgetful."

Jackson cracked a smile, but it looked strained, as though he was remembering something unpleasant.

"**Over the roar of the wind, I heard a distant bellow, an angry, tortured sound that **

**made my hair stand on end. Then a much closer noise, like mallets in the sand. A desperate voice-someone yelling, pounding on our cabin door. My mother sprang out of bed in her nightgown and threw open the lock. Grover stood framed in the doorway against a backdrop of pouring rain. But he wasn't… he wasn't exactly Grover.**"

"How is that possible?" Mack-bitchy wondered aloud.

Jackson smirked. "Listen and learn, Mack. Listen and learn."

Annabeth rolled her eyes but smiled at his antics.

Why was he so damn LUCKY?

"**"Searching all night," he gasped. "What were you thinking?" My mother looked at me in terror-not scared of Grover, but of why he'd come.**"

Scared of Grover? How could that scrawny shrimp be scary?

"**"Percy," she said, shouting to be heard over the rain. "What happened at school? What didn't you tell me?" I was frozen, looking at Grover. I couldn't understand what I was seeing. "O Zeu kai alloi theoi!" he yelled. "It's right behind me! Didn't you tell her?" I was too shocked to register that he'd just cursed in Ancient Greek, and I'd understood him perfectly. I was too shocked to wonder how Grover had gotten here by himself in the middle of the night. Because Grover didn't have his pants on- and where his legs should be… where his legs should be… My mom looked at me sternly and talked in a tone she'd never used before: "Percy. Tell me now!" I stammered something about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds, and my mom stared at me, her face deathly pale in the flashes of lightning. She grabbed her purse, tossed me my rain jacket, and said, "Get to the car. Both of you. Go!" Grover ran for the Camaro-but he wasn't running, exactly. He was trotting, shaking his shaggy hindquarters, and suddenly his story about a muscular disorder in his legs made sense to me. I understood how he could run so fast and still limp when he walked. Because where his feet should be, there were no feet. There were cloven hooves.**"

"Dramatic much?" Grover muttered, but he was grinning.

"That's the end of the chapter," Jezebel announced. "Who wants to read now?"

"I will," I announced. Jackson stared at me in disbelief. He didn't believe that I would just volunteer to read his story.

He was right. I wanted to read it for myself, to see if anything was cut out or embellished by Jackson lovers. I was not a Jackson lover. I would not cut embarrassing things out or embellish scenes of so-called heroism.

Jezebel handed me the book. I took it and looked at the next chapter. Then I read, "**My Mother Teaches Me Bullfighting**."

**Yay! I like long chappies!**

**Okay! RFF, or I won't post!**

**Okay, my lovely kiddies, be good, don't do drugs, don't get in trouble, and READ MY STORIES!**

**Love ya! lulu**


	5. MyMotherTeachesMeBullfighting

**I know, so much. Just... just read. I'm tired.**

**I don't own the stuff you recognize from Ricky's books.**

**Read, please.**

_**Chapter 5: Chapter 4: My Mother Teaches Me Bullfighting**_

**Jezebel's POV**

Why was Daniel reading? I had no idea. I used to have a huge crush on that faker, but now, he would have been barely a consolation prize for Percy.

Percy, whose girlfriend was a total bitch. She was naturally blonde, which was _so_ unfair. And it looked better on her than it did on me!

She was also an insufferable smartass. How did Percy stand her, let alone love her?

And yet she was so close to his immaculateness… SO UNFAIR!

Well, at least I got to read about his adventures. So far, she hadn't been in any of them! Maybe I'd get lucky and she'd be in none of them.

Then again, when am I ever lucky?

Another thing I have in common with Percy!

Daniel was starting to read. Why did I ever have a thing for that guy? I mean, he has straight, slightly mussed brown hair and nice blue eyes, and his facial features are nothing to sneeze at, but compared to Percy, with his messy black hair, sea green eyes, godly facial features, endearing skater boy look, and amazing smile, he's nothing!

Oops! Sorry. Back to the story.

"**We tore through the night along dark country roads. Wind slammed against the Camaro. Rain lashed the wind-shield. I didn't know how my mom could see anything, but she kept her foot on the gas. Every time there was a flash of lightning, I looked at Grover sitting next to me in the backseat and I wondered if I'd gone insane, or if he was wearing some kind of shag-carpet pants. But, no, the smell was one I remembered from kindergarten field trips to the petting zoo- lanolin, like from wool. The smell of a wet barnyard animal. All I could think to say was, "So, you and my mom... know each other?" Grover's eyes flitted to the rear view mirror, though there were no cars behind us. "Not exactly," he said. "I mean, we've never met in person. But she knew I was watching you."**"

"Stalker!" I whisper-shouted. Annabitch (I couldn't remember her real name, but this was close enough for me) glared at me. Her eyes were terrifying- dark grey, stormy, calculating. It gave me the shivers, and there aren't a lot of things that give me shivers.

"Right, shutting up now," I muttered.

"**"Watching me?" "Keeping tabs on you. Making sure you were okay. But I wasn't faking being your friend," he added hastily. "I am your friend." "Urn ... what are you, exactly?" "That doesn't matter right now." "It doesn't matter? From the waist down, my best friend is a donkey-"**"

"Ouch!" a little kid who looked like a Latino elf cried happily. "I pity you, Perce!"

"**Grover let out a sharp, throaty "Blaa-ha-ha!" I'd heard him make that sound before, but I'd always assumed it was a nervous laugh. Now I realized it was more of an irritated bleat. "Goat!" he cried. "What?" "I'm a goat from the waist down." "You just said it didn't matter." "Blaa-ha-ha! There are satyrs who would trample you underhoof for such an insult!" "Whoa. Wait. Satyrs. You mean like… Mr. Brunner's myths?" "Were those old ladies at the fruit stand a myth, Percy? Was Mrs. Dodds a myth?" "So you admit there was a Mrs. Dodds!" "Of course." "Then why-" "The less you knew, the fewer monsters you'd attract," Grover said, like that should be perfectly obvious.**"

"Grover!" Annabitch cried impatiently. "He's new!"

Grover (a weird kid with a goatee who was apparently part goat) looked embarrassed. "Sorry, Annabeth," he muttered.

Annabeth! That was her name. How stupid. I mean, Annabeth? Really? Annabitch is better. It suits her.

"**"We put Mist over the humans' eyes. We hoped you'd think the Kindly One was a hallucination. But it was no good. You started to realize who you are." "Who I-wait a minute, what do you mean?" The weird bellowing noise rose up again somewhere behind us, closer than before. Whatever was chasing us was still on our trail. "Percy," my mom said, "there's too much to explain and not enough time. We have to get you to safety." "Safety from what? Who's after me?" "Oh, nobody much," Grover said, obviously still miffed about the donkey comment. "Just the Lord of the Dead and a few of his blood-thirstiest minions."**"

"Grover!" all of the demigods and gods cried- besides Percy and Annabitch, who just smiled and looked lovingly into each other's eyes. Ugh, that bitch! I should be there, not her!

Grover, meanwhile, looked like he'd love to sink into the floor.

"**"Grover!" "Sorry, Mrs. Jackson. Could you drive faster, please?" I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening, but I couldn't do it. I knew this wasn't a dream. I had no imagination. I could never dream up something this weird. My mom made a hard left. We swerved onto a narrower road, racing past darkened farmhouses and wooded hills and PICK YOUR OWN STRAWBERRIES signs on white picket fences.**"

"Strawberries?" someone asked. "Why strawberries?"

I turned to see Brian, one of Daniel's dumb jock buds, wearing a very confused expression.

"Camp," Percy replied almost dreamily. "Finally."

How come I couldn't go?!

Oh, right, because, as Annabitch so graciously pointed out, their camp is D.O.N.E.- Demigods Only, No Exceptions.

Bitch.

"**"Where are we going?" I asked. "The summer camp I told you about." My mother's voice was tight; she was trying for my sake not to be scared. "The place your father wanted to send you." "The place you didn't want me to go." "Please, dear," my mother begged. "This is hard enough. Try to understand. You're in danger." "Because some old ladies cut yarn." "Those weren't old ladies," Grover said. "Those were the Fates. Do you know what it means- the fact they appeared in front of you? They only do that when you're about to… when someone's about to die."**"

"And he does it again, folks!" the punk girl with the pretty tiara, Thalia, cried. "Let's hear it for Grover Underwood, who can mess things up in a split second!"

"Oh, can it, Thals," Grover said, throwing a tin can in her face to make his point.

"Yeah, listen to him, Pinecone Face," Percy added.

Thalia glared at them for a moment, then started laughing along with them.

They're all weird. Percy is the only cool one in the lot of them.

"Please continue, Danny," Percy said, wiping his eyes.

Daniel looked angry, but he said nothing, glancing at Annabitch before continuing.

"**"Whoa. You said 'you.'" "No I didn't. I said 'someone.'" "You meant 'you.' As in me." "I meant you, like 'someone.' Not you, you."**"

"I don't know about you, but I'm lost," one of the twin-things muttered to the other.

"**"Boys!" my mom said. She pulled the wheel hard to the right, and I got a glimpse of a figure she'd swerved to avoid-a dark fluttering shape now lost behind us in the storm. "What was that?" I asked. "We're almost there," my mother said, ignoring my question. "Another mile. Please. Please. Please." I didn't know where there was, but I found myself leaning forward in the car, anticipating, wanting us to arrive.**"

"The anticipation is the only thing that never changes," Annabitch said. All of the campers nodded, some with dreamy, far-away looks.

Daniel, who normally would have yelled at people for interrupting him so much, simply continued, glancing at Annabitch again.

Someone has a crush… I could use this to my advantage!

"**Outside, nothing but rain and darkness-the kind of empty countryside you get way out on the tip of Long Island. I thought about Mrs. Dodds and the moment when she'd changed into the thing with pointed teeth and leathery wings. My limbs went numb from delayed shock. She really hadn't been human. She'd meant to kill me.**"

Annabitch smirked. "Did it really take you that long, Seaweed Brain?"

Percy threw his hands into the air. "I'm not a genius, Wise Girl!"

Annabitch laughed. "I know that already. That's why I call you Seaweed Brain! Because you have kelp instead of brains!"

How dare she!

Percy smiled. I felt myself melting. "Yeah, but I'm _your_ Seaweed Brain."

Annabitch smiled and kissed him lightly. "Yes you are."

NO! That was my place! Damn her! How could she insult him so much but still have him wrapped around her finger?

"**Then I thought about Mr. Brunner… and the sword he had thrown me. Before I could ask Grover about that, the hair rose on the back of my neck. There was a blinding flash, a jaw-rattling **_**boom**_**!, and our car exploded. I remember feeling weightless, like I was being crushed, fried, and hosed down all at the same time.**"

"And you know how this feels… how, exactly?" asked a cute, buff Chinese guy with a buzz cut.

Percy just smiled and shrugged, as if to say, _Hey, it's just a comparison. Who says I experienced it?_

Gods, that smile makes me melt.

"**I peeled my forehead off the back of the driver's seat and said, "Ow." "Percy!" my mom shouted. "I'm okay…" I tried to shake off the daze. I wasn't dead. The car hadn't really exploded. We'd swerved into a ditch. Our driver's-side doors were wedged in the mud. The roof had cracked open like an eggshell and rain was pouring in. Lightning. That was the only explanation. We'd been blasted right off the road.**"

"Zeus!" Poseidon said, sounding more exasperated than angry. "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: quit blasting my kids!"

Zeus rolled his eyes.

"No, seriously! Why is it that you and Hades are constantly killing my kids and I never touch yours?"

Neither god answered. Neither seemed to have an answer.

Poseidon nodded. "That's what I thought."

So Percy's dad is nice, too! I just needed to get on his good side. His mom's, too. Then I could beat Annabeth for his affections!

"**Next to me in the backseat was a big motionless lump. "Grover!" He was slumped over, blood trickling from the side of his mouth. I shook his furry hip, thinking, No! Even if you are half barnyard animal, you're my best friend and I don't want you to die!**"

Grover looked torn between offended and touched. "That's sweet… yet offensive," he muttered.

Percy laughed. "Dude, I am the MASTER of sweetly offensive."

Everyone laughed.

"**Then he groaned "Food," and I knew there was hope.**"

Annabitch and Thalia laughed.

"That's so you, Grover," Thalia said, giggling.

Grover blushed and muttered something about insensitive friends, but he was grinning sheepishly.

"**"Percy," my mother said, "we have to…" Her voice faltered. I looked back. In a flash of lightning, through the mud-spattered rear windshield, I saw a figure lumbering toward us on the shoulder of the road. The sight of it made my skin crawl. It was a dark silhouette of a huge guy, like a football player. He seemed to be holding a blanket over his head. His top half was bulky and fuzzy. His upraised hands made it look like he had horns. I swallowed hard. "Who is-" "Percy," my mother said, deadly serious. "Get out of the car." My mother threw herself against the driver's-side door. It was jammed shut in the mud. I tried mine. Stuck too. I looked up desperately at the hole in the roof. It might've been an exit, but the edges were sizzling and smoking. "Climb out the passenger's side!" my mother told me. "Percy- you have to run. Do you see that big tree?" "What?" Another flash of lightning, and through the smoking hole in the roof I saw the tree she meant: a huge, White House Christmas tree-sized pine at the crest of the nearest hill.**"

"Hey! It's me!" Thalia cried.

Percy had mentioned something about her being a tree before, but now I realized he hadn't been joking. This was why she was called Pinecone Face: she had been a pine tree.

"**"That's the property line," my mom said. "Get over that hill and you'll see a big farmhouse down in the valley. Run and don't look back. Yell for help. Don't stop until you reach the door." "Mom, you're coming too." Her face was pale, her eyes as sad as when she looked at the ocean. "No!" I shouted. "You are coming with me. Help me carry Grover." "Food!" Grover moaned, a little louder. The man with the blanket on his head kept coming toward us, making his grunting, snorting noises. As he got closer, I realized he couldn't be holding a blanket over his head, because his hands- huge meaty hands- were swinging at his sides. There was no blanket. Meaning the bulky, fuzzy mass that was too big to be his head… was his head. And the points that looked like horns…**"

"The Minotaur," Percy muttered. "I hate that guy. Can't believe he came back so fast. It's not fair."

Annabitch but a comforting arm on his shoulder. "It's over now," she whispered soothingly. "It's over."

That was MY spot! I was supposed to be the one comforting Percy! ME!

"**"He doesn't want us," my mother told me. "He wants you. Besides, I can't cross the property line." "But…" "We don't have time, Percy. Go. Please." I got mad, then- mad at my mother, at Grover the goat, at the thing with horns that was lumbering toward us slowly and deliberately like, like a bull.**"

Thalia was grinning crazily. So were most of the demigods, for that matter.

"Rule number one of living around Percy," Thalia said loudly. "Don't EVER make him mad. Otherwise he'll pulverize you and everything else in a half-mile radius."

Percy looked bashful. When the twin-things started chanting, "Percy's gonna kick some ass, Percy's gonna kick some ass," he glared at them, but it was half-hearted. They still stopped, though. He's so assertive. Dominant. Just my type! Not Annabitch's.

""**I told you-" "Mom! I am not leaving you. Help me with Grover." I didn't wait for her answer. I scrambled outside, dragging Grover from the car. He was surprisingly light, but I couldn't have carried him very far if my mom hadn't come to my aid. Together, we draped Grover's arms over our shoulders and started stumbling uphill through wet waist-high grass. Glancing back, I got my first clear look at the monster. He was seven feet tall, easy, his arms and legs like something from the cover of Muscle Man magazine-bulging biceps and triceps and a bunch of other 'ceps, all stuffed like baseballs under vein-webbed skin. He wore no clothes except under-wear- I mean, bright white Fruit of the Looms-**"

Everyone laughed. Percy, always making jokes!

"-**which would've looked funny, except that the top half of his body was so scary. Coarse brown hair started at about his belly button and got thicker as it reached his shoulders.**"

No one was laughing now.

"**His neck was a mass of muscle and fur leading up to his enormous head, which had a snout as long as my arm, snotty nostrils with a gleaming brass ring, cruel black eyes, and horns- enormous black-and-white horns with points you just couldn't get from an electric sharpener. I recognized the monster, all right. He had been in one of the first stories Mr. Brunner told us. But he couldn't be real. I blinked the rain out of my eyes. "That's-" "Pasiphae's son," my mother said. "I wish I'd known how badly they want to kill you."**"

"She should have known!" Grover muttered. "We told her. She should have realized…"

Percy glared at Grover but said nothing.

"**"But he's the Min-" "Don't say his name," she warned. "Names have power." The pine tree was still way too far- a hundred yards uphill at least. I glanced behind me again. The bull-man hunched over our car, looking in the windows- or not looking, exactly. More like snuffling, nuzzling. I wasn't sure why he bothered, since we were only about fifty feet away. "Food?" Grover moaned. "Shhh," I told him. "Mom, what's he doing? Doesn't he see us?" "His sight and hearing are terrible," she said. "He goes by smell. But he'll figure out where we are soon enough." As if on cue, the bull-man bellowed in rage. He picked up Gabe's Camaro by the torn roof, the chassis creaking and groaning. He raised the car over his head and threw it down the road. It slammed into the wet asphalt and skidded in a shower of sparks for about half a mile before coming to a stop. The gas tank exploded. Not a scratch, I remembered Gabe saying. Oops.**"

I smiled evilly, like pretty much everyone else in the room. This guy deserved far worse, but at least his beloved car got wrecked.

"**"Percy," my mom said. "When he sees us, he'll charge. Wait until the last second, then jump out of the way- directly sideways. He can't change directions very well once he's charging. Do you understand?" "How do you know all this?" "I've been worried about an attack for a long time. I should have expected this. I was selfish, keeping you near me." "Keeping me near you? But-" Another bellow of rage, and the bull-man started tromping uphill. He'd smelled us. The pine tree was only a few more yards, but the hill was getting steeper and slicker, and Grover wasn't getting any lighter. The bull-man closed in. Another few seconds and he'd be on top of us. My mother must've been exhausted, but she shouldered Grover. "Go, Percy! Separate! Remember what I said." I didn't want to split up, but I had the feeling she was right- it was our only chance. I sprinted to the left, turned, and saw the creature bearing down on me. His black eyes glowed with hate. He reeked like rotten meat. He lowered his head and charged, those razor-sharp horns aimed straight at my chest. The fear in my stomach made me want to bolt, but that wouldn't work. I could never outrun this thing. So I held my ground, and at the last moment, I jumped to the side. The bull-man stormed past like a freight train, then bellowed with frustration and turned, but not toward me this time, toward my mother, who was setting Grover down in the grass.**"

Percy had his eyes closed. He seemed to be muttering something along the lines of, "I hate this part, I hate this part," over and over again.

Annabitch took his hand and squeezed it gently.

Why couldn't she be interested in Daniel and leave Percy? He is _way_ too good for her. Daniel is more her speed.

"**We'd reached the crest of the hill. Down the other side I could see a valley, just as my mother had said, and the lights of a farmhouse glowing yellow through the rain. But that was half a mile away. We'd never make it. The bull-man grunted, pawing the ground. He kept eyeing my mother, who was now retreating slowly downhill, back toward the road, trying to lead the monster away from Grover. "Run, Percy!" she told me. "I can't go any farther. Run!" But I just stood there, frozen in fear, as the monster charged her. She tried to sidestep, as she'd told me to do, but the monster had learned his lesson. His hand shot out and grabbed her by the neck as she tried to get away. He lifted her as she struggled, kicking and pummeling the air.**"

"Mom," Percy whispered.

"Sally," Poseidon said, eyes wide, hands clenched into fists.

"**"Mom!" She caught my eyes, managed to choke out one last word: "Go!" Then, with an angry roar, the monster closed his fists around my mother's neck, and she dissolved before my eyes, melting into light, a shimmering golden form, as if she were a holographic projection. A blinding flash, and she was simply… gone.**"

Percy closed his eyes. "Mom."

Annabitch nodded, looking miserably sympathetic.

What a total faker.

"**"No!" Anger replaced my fear. Newfound strength burned in my limbs-the same rush of energy I'd gotten when Mrs. Dodds grew talons. The bull-man bore down on Grover, who lay helpless in the grass. The monster hunched over, snuffling my best friend, as if he were about to lift Grover up and make him dissolve too. I couldn't allow that. I stripped off my red rain jacket. "Hey!" I screamed, waving the jacket, running to one side of the monster. "Hey, stupid! Ground beef!"**"

"Dude," Nico said with an uncharacteristically cheerful grin, "you need better insults."

Percy tried for a smile. "Oh really, Death Breath? Any examples?"

Nico thought hard for a moment, then scowled at Percy.

Percy laughed weakly. "It's even harder when you're on the spot like that."

Even when he's upset, he's dreamy!

"**"Raaaarrrrr!" The monster turned toward me, shaking his meaty fists. I had an idea- a stupid idea, but better than no idea at all. I put my back to the big pine tree and waved my red jacket in front of the bull-man, thinking I'd jump out of the way at the last moment. But it didn't happen like that. The bull-man charged too fast, his arms out to grab me whichever way I tried to dodge. Time slowed down. My legs tensed. I couldn't jump sideways, so I leaped straight up, kicking off from the creature's head, using it as a springboard, turning in midair, and landing on his neck.**"

Everyone stared at Percy, including me (not like that's out of the ordinary).

"How did you do that?" a younger girl with frizzy brown hair and golden eyes asked in an awed, almost frightened tone. She wasn't looking at Percy directly. She stared at the floor, once in a while glancing up as though she was shy or didn't know who the man standing before her was.

Percy shrugged. He looked pained, but he managed to say, "I think it was delayed energizing. The water energizes me, but since I was only just accepting the fact that all of these myths were real, the energizing power didn't take effect immediately."

Jason merely looked at Percy.

Percy motioned for Daniel to continue, which he did, looking rather disgruntled. Probably having trouble convincing himself that Percy wasn't amazing, because Percy is amazing.

"**How did I do that? I didn't have time to figure it out. A millisecond later, the monster's head slammed into the tree and the impact nearly knocked my teeth out. The bull-man staggered around, trying to shake me. I locked my arms around his horns to keep from being thrown. Thunder and lightning were still going strong. The rain was in my eyes. The smell of rotten meat burned my nostrils. The monster shook himself around and bucked like a rodeo bull. He should have just backed up into the tree and smashed me flat, but I was starting to realize that this thing had only one gear: forward. Meanwhile, Grover started groaning in the grass. I wanted to yell at him to shut up, but the way I was getting tossed around, if I opened my mouth I'd bite my own tongue off. "Food!" Grover moaned. The bull-man wheeled toward him, pawed the ground again, and got ready to charge. I thought about how he had squeezed the life out of my mother, made her disappear in a flash of light, and rage filled me like high-octane fuel. I got both hands around one horn and I pulled backward with all my might.**"

Ares snorted. "Please. You may have gotten on top of the Minotaur, punk, but you ain't got the strength to pull of one of its horns. Only an Ares kid could do that."

Daniel nodded his agreement, then glanced at the page. His eyes widened.

"**The monster tensed, gave a surprised grunt, then-snap!**"

Ares was silent. Everyone was silent. Even _I_ didn't think Percy could do that.

Only Poseidon spoke. "Guess you were wrong, Ares," Poseidon said indifferently.

Ares scowled at him, then motioned for a stunned Daniel to continue reading.

Daniel obliged, still wide-eyed.

"**The bull-man screamed and flung me through the air. I landed flat on my back in the grass. My head smacked against a rock. When I sat up, my vision was blurry, but I had a horn in my hands, a ragged bone weapon the size of a knife. The monster charged. Without thinking, I rolled to one side and came up kneeling. As the monster barreled past, I drove the broken horn straight into his side, right up under his furry rib cage. The bull-man roared in agony. He flailed, clawing at his chest, then began to disintegrate-not like my mother, in a flash of golden light, but like crumbling sand, blown away in chunks by the wind, the same way Mrs. Dodds had burst apart. The monster was gone.**"

No one spoke.

Percy was very powerful. Far more powerful than I had thought. More powerful than many people in the room had thought, judging by the looks on their faces. Only Nico, Thalia, Grover, Annabeth (sorry, I meant Annabitch), Poseidon, and Chiron seemed unsurprised.

Daniel didn't need a signal this time. He continued without prodding.

"**The rain had stopped. The storm still rumbled, but only in the distance. I smelled like livestock and my knees were shaking. My head felt like it was splitting open. I was weak and scared and trembling with grief. I'd just seen my mother vanish. I wanted to lie down and cry, but there was Grover, needing my help, so I managed to haul him up and stagger down into the valley, toward the lights of the farm-house. I was crying, calling for my mother, but I held on to Grover- I wasn't going to let him go. The last thing I remember is collapsing on a wooden porch, looking up at a ceiling fan circling above me, moths flying around a yellow light, and the stern faces of a familiar-looking bearded man and a pretty girl, her blond hair curled like a princess's. They both looked down at me, and the girl said, "He's the one. He must be." "Silence, Annabeth," the man said. "He's still conscious. Bring him inside."**"

"That's the end," Daniel muttered.

"I'll read," Deeves said. Daniel passed the book to him.

Deeves looked at the page, cleared his throat, and read, "**I Play Pinochle With A Horse**."

**I just love this stuff. I really, truly adore it.**

**So yeah, RFF or I won't provide more chapters.**

**Sorry I'm serious, it's just... GYARR life.**

**Yeah.**

**Love ya! lulu**


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